| world at my feet |

no make that TWO happy claps!

no scratch that. manymany happy claps!

whywhy??
*bounces around* (don't worry, this time no earthquake. i've lost weight. out of sheer laziness to cook two meals a day, i eat only one proper meal.)

because today is a good day!
let's start from the beginning.

HAPPY FACTOR NUMBER 1
school started early this morning, 10:00am. so i rushed and thankfully i got there in time. was waiting outside the lecture theatre when a girl came and said hi. :) i had actually met her the day before (at Gene Cloning lecture) but we didn't exactly talk because she was looking for some spare sheets of the handout and was looking really flustered. so today we had proper introductions. her name is aisha (i don't know how it's spelt, so i'll just stick to the simplest one.) and she's from bangladeshi! but she was born in london and has been here all her life. we talked a little, well a lot actually. about her country and my country and she brought me around school, showed me where to eat, and the prayer area and all. she introduced me to a couple other girls too. :) and it looks like i'm taking two courses with her, Gene Cloning and Cell Biology. which is good news, cause it's always nice to have a friend around. ;) (nice? who am i kidding, i'm like elated! god knows how sad and lonely i was when i didn't have one earlier. ;) ) hehe she's really cute. round and sweet actually. hehe she was telling me how clumsy she is, how she's always knocking things over (she kicked over a guy's cup of coffee in lecture when we were walking in. haha. AND she blamed him "well, he should know better than to have put it there, it's not my fault!" haha.) (sounds familiar, i think. like a certain someone always making up reasons for the ditzy things she does. ;) ) during break in lecture, she wanted to go to the library to quickly loan out the text, and she says she just renews it online every week or so and she gets to keep it the whole time, so she doesn't have to buy the book. i went with her, and she showed me around the library, where to go, how to use what and stuff. it was nice. :)
she was also telling me, when she found out i was from singapore, that they had a lecturer last year, who had gone down to singapore for some conference maybe, and he had shown the class pictures of "a really cool like really hi-tech place that you guys do research or something". (i'm thinking it's biopolis! singapore government must be glad and proud to know that lecturers in the uk are telling their students about it! and i'm proud to say i have worked there, and am planning to again!) and she said how it's really cool, and that "you wouldn't think something like that is going on in singapore, would you." haha. somehow that remark stung me a little, just a little bit. because i took that to mean that either they thought singapore was more backward than she really is that it's amazing that we actually have that cutting edge research complex, or that she was really impressed. hehe. oh well.
when lessons were done, we went down to the tube station together and she was telling me how once she wasn't looking the right way going down the escalator and she just fell over, and then when she got up she rushed into a tube, and realised she was going the wrong way! haha. i thought that was cute. hehe.
ok so in sum, i'm glad i met her. :) and i'm hoping that we can be friends throughout my stay here, insya'allah. :)

HAPPY FACTOR NUMBER 2
that aside, lessons took me by surprise today! i swear i thought it was just introductory, but he started teaching like teaching!! the good thing was, they had booklets for us! one was the course booklet (the one yesterday didn't, they only gave us one lousy page of handout, and i had to copy everything else! pooey.) with all the course information, schedule, lab protocols, experimental protocols and stuff. and the other was the lecturer's notes for his set of lectures! and i swear it was a booklet! like with a cover page and it was bound and everything! not like a bunch of papers stapled together, it was a real booklet! haha. (okok yani. it's only a booklet.) yeah and he started teaching Dynamics of the Cytoskeleton. (this i have to admit, i thought EEEEWW. i have never been a fan of cellular structures. i mean i'm okay with it, but i much prefer processes and responses, rather than studying parts. :P) but it was fine, i thought the lecture went pretty well, and i wasn't bored or anything.

HAPPY FACTOR NUMBER 3
OH and i got the best surprise any lecturer could ever have given me! haha! (okay a little bit of background here. yesterday we(the exchange students) found out that king's only holds exams in the summer ie. may 2006. so when we asked what the arrangement would be like for us who were only staying for a semester, the response we got yesterday was that in previous years, they mailed the exam script and the students would sit for the exam at their home university. and i thought WHAATT?? that's ridiculous! firstly, it's like MONTHS after you FINISH learning the course, it's ridiculous to give us exams then. although it's common practice here in the uk. exams are ONLY held in the summer, so whatever course you did in fall, you gotta store it somewhere accessible at the back of your mind, cause you're gonna have to dig it out again in a few months' time. secondly i thought it was ridiculous because we're halfway around the world! it would take like months for them to process the papers and to get my grade back to me. then how am i supposed to do my level-3 modules when i don't have the grades for these pre-requisitory level-2 modules! URGH.)
BUT today we heard a different story! the lecturer said that what they did before was to just grade the students based on their coursework! ie. one timed essay, one test based on the practicals and one poster presentation! (he said they used to set the exchange students a timed essay, but he says he doesn't see the point cause we're going to have one already, anyway. i don't see his logic but i love it!!) ie. no exams!!! haha! andandand for this course, there are no lab reports!!! wheee! hahaha! (MAJOR HOLIDAY ALERT! MAJOR HOLIDAY ALERT! ;))

HAPPY FACTOR(s) NUMBER 4
i went to the mall on the way back from school. i had already been there last week or so, and i picked up a really good book there. at BOOKS etc. kinda like BORDERS. actually i think a subsidiary or daughter store of BORDERS or something. last week i bought The Pact by Jodi Picoult, and it's a really good book! a veryvery good mix of love, (between a boy and a girl, and between parents and their kids, and also between best friends) courtroom drama and suspense. it's about a boy and a girl who grew up next door to each other, their mums became best friends, and they naturally became best friends too, and it developed into a romance just like how everyone had wanted it to. and the kids had made a pact to commit suicide together. but when it happened, the girl was found with a bullet through her head, and the boy was scarcely hurt. the evidence seems to tell a different story. was it really a double suicide, or was it murder? i've finished the book and it's highly recommended. it's a good turn for the romantically-inclined, but doesn't like the usual sappy books on the shelves. it's very good. so anyway i'm digressing here. i went back this week to look at another book by Jodi Picoult. My Sister's Keeper. this one's about a girl, who was specifically chosen and genetically screened at the embryonic stage for her genetic code, to match her sister's exactly. her older sister was born with leukaemia, and she was thus brought into this world to supply her sister with bone marrow, red and white blood cells and her kidney even. at age thirteen, with her measly savings of barely a hundred dollars, she decided to sue her parents. for the rights to her own body. interesting huh! so i bought the book! but after much deliberation. i actually stood at the store and read a whole chapter before i gave in and oh what the hell, let's just buy it. haha.
and then as i was on my way out of the mall, a lady manning a booth just stopped me, asked me if i had natural nails, grabbed my hands and started scrubbing away at my nails! haha! she was selling one of those nail buffers and she was talking so enthusiastically and shining my nails so earnestly i couldn't bear to withdraw my hand from her. (haha ya right. i just wanted her to finish shining my nails. haha.) she was telling me step one do this, step two this and that, just once a month the shine stays on for a whole month, and then you put this cuticle oil every night just before you sleep on your one two three four five fingers and then it will make your cuticles soft and this and that. when she was finally done, (haha i actually asked "are you done? are you going to put anymore things on my nails?") i told her "so sorry that thing is not on my budget this week, and i'll see if the shine is still there after a month, i'll come back to get it. so sorry. *smile*" damn she looked pissed. haha.
oh i also got that much-needed(-wanted) towel rail! so now i don't have to hang my towel, sejadah, telekong and used-once-only tudungs on the rails of my bed! haha. unnecessary shopping. it does release a feel-good hormone, don't you think?
there's a store at the mall called The Officer's Club. haha! it sells men's clothes and it just made me think of my baby. officer mah. haha. ;) i went inside it last time i was there, but nothing really caught my eye. but the men's fashion in there isn't so bad. it's quite good actually. i'm thinking i could probably find something there for my baby. ;) eh sayang?

HAPPY FACTOR(s) NUMBER 5
i made SUPPEEEEERB nasi goreng today! haha! yeaa! i went grocery shopping yesterday and bought everything i needed. mixed veg, hotdogs, eggs, the works. and then today as i was cooking it, i was talking to faathiyah, and i actually forgot the salt! but it was fine cause i used the rempah anyway. and if i had put salt, it would have been too salty, cause the hotdogs were already salty enough on their own. but really. i didn't know i was capable of such good nasi goreng! or that nasi goreng could simply taste that good! haha!
the secret? call mummy to ask how. cause the best way to do it is mum's way. :) *huugg* i love my mummy :) oh and i talked to mummy today!

HAPPY FACTOR NUMBER 6
i realised today that faathiya can be quite a joy to talk to. maybe before, we were rather polite and formal with each other, hadn't let our hair down and let loose a little. in fact, before, she was ALWAYS talking about religion and politics and i got SO SICK of it. hehe. but when she isn't talking about them, when we're talking about how strange/immature/assholic/anything-fits-here men are (the unifying factor for women worldwide), about how cute her nieces and nephews are, about the best cake shop on high st or when we're joking around and kidding around, it can be really fun! and that's definitely good. :)

HAPPY FACTOR NUMBER 7
i'm calling my baby later! he's up watching soccer (just woke him up) and we should be talking soon! yay!~

p.s. sad factor number 1. i haven't been able to contact sya! called you so many times dearie, no answer. and you called me in the middle of the night can! i was asleep and it was cut off before my landlady could answer! she was up all night wondering who the caller was, and worrying if it might be an emergency. haii. i said sorry already. hehe. and i can't seem to sms using starhub website on her laptop, i don't know why! i think her browser disables popups or something. boo. :( i've got no school tomorrow (wednesday), do you want me to call you at subuh my time? sms me okay! *huUugs*

OH OH! another HAPPY FACTOR!!
faathiya gave me the number of a muslim brother (gosh i can't believe i'm saying that, it used to sound weird listening to kak long use phrases like muslim brother and muslim sister. hehe.) who fixes up computers! and he's agreed to come tomorrow to fix my lappy! (don't worry mummy, faathiya said she'll be home with me when he comes.) thankfully i brought along with me my logitech webcam's software so i can install all over again, and can still use it. :) i moved over my pictures and important documents to d:\ drive in safe mode, so they should be fine. :) and it sounds like he knows what he's doing because i told him of the "dreaded blue screen" and how i was using limewire right before and he knew exactly what to do. he also said he'll give me his antivirus for free! (that is of course, apart from the twenty or so pounds i would already have to pay him. haha. it's not a free service, it's his business actually.) so i hope that gets settled tomorrow! :)

okays!~ so i should be back tomorrow! no school, and it's laundry day! and i'll probably do some reading up for cell biology. (haha. i know you guys wanna throw your shoes at me, i don't have exams to take and i'm reading up?? what am i, crazy?? haha. some people call it crazy, some say responsible learner. ;) pick one. hehe.)

toodles-oo!~ (sounds like to-the-zoo, don't you think? haha!)

i'm missing so many people from home, especially the ones i haven't talked to since my first day here! boo. :(

they were actually on thurs and fri, but i didn't feel like blogging about it then. heh.

so. enrolment.
was scheduled at 2:00pm in the afternoon at Franklin-Wilkins Building. (i'm ONLY speaking to TRUE BLUE science nerds here: do the names ring a bell? if they do, i'm PROUD of you. because they didn't for me when i first heard them. sheesh. hehe. -more about this later.-) but we were supposed to collect our Permit to Enrol in the morning between the hours of 10:45am-12noon from the James Clerk Maxwell Building (ANOTHER STRIKING NAME!!). i had to go to the bank (HSBC where they only gave me a lousy basic bank account, eergh no free mp3 player, damn them. i'm still sore about it ok.) to bank in my bank draft, so i figured i would do that in between 12noon and 2:00pm.
so morning was pretty uneventful, except that i couldn't call sya like we had planned, because she firstly had given me the wrong number (SO sya right?), and then she hadn't given me the area code or something. haii. but we ended up chatting on msn, and i was almost late. but i reached at 11:00am, haha thankfully. AND i found a shorter route to school! cuts my travelling time by like almost half! because the undergound here is so massive, lines going from everywhere to everywhere else, there is usually no one direct route. plus the tube stations where i get off for school are MAJOR stations, they have so many lines coming to them, i have a variety of routes, which i didn't realize earlier, to choose from! so i found one that barely takes half an hour! yay!
i met a girl in the lift of the James Clerk Maxwell building. she was from the states. from PENN apparently (izzati's drooling i can see it. haha.), majoring in english. we said hi and the simple "you enrolling too? *smile*". king's has a whole programme for PENN english from the looks of it. on the timetable for course registration, there was a slot for English, and one for English (PENN). hmm. so i suppose there's quite a few PENN english majors, or they have a special programme drafted out for them.
ok so i collected my Permit to Enrol, trotted off to the bank, where i got SUCH a breath of fresh air! you know, i REALLY miss talking like a singaporean. it's not so much you want to act so english, you put on an accent or what, it's just that you want to be understood by the peole here, so you clean off all singaporean-ness from your speech, all the lahs and ahs, and replacing yah with yeah and stuff. but at the bank, i was sandwiched by 2 singaporean students! how do i know they're singaporean? takes one to know one. ;) firstly, the face lah, total giveaway. then it was the clothes, the fashion and the bags. haha. THEN when they opened their mouth, CONFIRM, guarantee plus CHOP ah! haha "i, i told lawrence about him, and he say he's really so unreasonable lor." "yalor! i really don't see what's so wrong about that ah, really." "i mean, it's okay one, what right?" haha. it was nice to actually hear them talk.
after i finished up at the bank, i found a nice starbucks RIGHT opposite my school(the Guy's campus)! haha whee! and i bet they just KNEW they had to set one up right there because c'mon, kids will so definitely drop by after school. haha. so i got myself a caramel frappucino, settled into a little chair at the corner, and filled in my Permit to Enrol. and oh my god, the CARAMEL.... MMmmMmmmM. i swear. it was SO thick, SO creamy, hell it was SO sweet even for ME! yes ME! the one who asks for caramel latte with extra extra caramel from spinelli's at school(NUS)! and they have a caramel cream blended! OOOOHmyGOD! *hyperventilate* i am SO trying that next time! (do we have that in singapore? hmm.)
after i was done, i gathered my things and trooped off to the Franklin-Wilkins building (Waterloo campus) for enrolment! when i arrived there were already so many people gathered in the corridor outside the room, and i was half an hour early, mind you. but i wanted to confirm i was at the right room, so i walked right up to the door to check the room number, and yup right room. but i thought it was dumb to walk right back down the corridor to look for a place to sit. so i just stood and waited by the door. which was really good, because after that they only let us in 6 by 6, because there were only 6 officers in the room to do the enrolment, and i was the first six in! haha. which was good because if not i might have to wait a couple of hours or so! then we were directed to another room for the photocard. URGH. the lady with the camera didn't say one two three can! she just ok face the camera, and done. whaatt?? my head was senget and i didn't smile properly lah! aii! whatever. and i was wearing pale orange, almost cream, tudung, and the background was like white, so my whole picture was like pucat lah! pooey. hehe. ok so that was done, i was given all my IT account stuff, username, password etc. and you know what we call CBLC (computer-based learning center) in NUS, they call it PAWS! public access workstations! i think. but when i see paws, i think sya! because sya, being a cat, has paws! and i thought of how excited she will be if she was there. hehe.
yup so that was enrolment. oh yeah. at enrolment, i realized i was the ONLY girl in tudung. boo. and like 98% of the students there were americans! because what we call exchange, they call junior year abroad. in their junior year (third year) they go overseas, the usual. yeaaa. so SO states. behind me "yea i'm from california.." "wait are you brooke's friend?" "yeaah!" haha. ohwell. and sadly, i didn't spot the nus exchange students either. haha.

yea so about the names of the buildings! these buildings are in the waterloo campus. king's go a looong way back actually, since the dunnowhat century. haha. and they have very many nobel laureates in their alumni. fooh. so anyway. bio students. remember Rosalind Franklin?? yea she did the x-ray crystollagraphy on the structure of the dna, figuring out it was helical, which was what helped Watson and Crick determine the structure of the dna. and who was Wilkins? Maurice Wilkins! he was her supervisor, who GAVE AWAY her x-ray crystollagraphy to Watson and Crick WITHOUT her permission, wth! haha. i learnt this in a general education module (sya remember! scientific methodology!), apparently Rosalind Franklin was also trying to discover the structure of dna, and her x-ray crystollagraphy was a crucial major find. and if it had not been LEAKED to Watson and Crick by her supervisor (who felt like girls didn't belong in the scientific community or something back then), those two guys would not have their names down in our science textbooks today! but anyways, Franklin and Wilkins got their due recognition too, although not as big and major as Watson and Crick, they got some award. AND they were in King's when that major find happened! hehe. hence, Franklin Wilkins building!
as for James Clerk Maxwell, that's easy. the whole name gives it away. some physicist and/or mathematician. around Einstein's time i think. there's a Maxwell equation, which is his. i SO don't remember much lah, considering that it's physics. haha. he had something to do with relativity, and Einstein built up from his equation, i THINK. don't quote me on this, haha. but yeah he was pretty important sometime in physics. actually he's pretty important even today lah. haha. and yup he is a King's alumni. cool huh. ;) hehe

oklah very long already, and so lazy to talk about registration. so a gist.
nothing much happened, i didn't talk to anyone, sadly. :( got my timetable, found out that although lectures start this week, it's only introductory! they give you the timetable, schedule of lectures, course synopsis, course booklet etc. wth! we only start lessons first week october. and school ends mid dec! that's like what 10 freaking weeks! when do they study?? and lectures are once a week, and they last MAXIMUM fifty minutes. that's effectively 500min of lessons, before you sit for the exam! haha. oh well. ;) and labs and tutorials are fortnightly, whee. haha.
oh and at course registration, i was at the Health and Life Sciences one, and the course advisor asked, are you all premeds? and all around heads were nodding, then oh! yea these kids from states, they need this premed degree before they go on to their med school! sheesh. i never thought of myself premed, but hey i am, according to the courses i am taking. haha. it's kinda cool. ;) hehe.

so today i've got my first lecture, albeit introductory for Gene Cloning. hehe. and i'll definitely take pictures of the campus today! today i'll be at the Guy's Campus, which is gorgeous compared to the Waterloo Campus. :) pretty soon (after my lappy gets fixed) i'll put it up and then you guys can see for yourself!

oh and yesterday was a good day. why? because i talked to SO many people from home! still having leftover happiness from talking to sya for like THREE freaking hours a couple of days before, yesterday i talked(on msn) to my kakak, boy, nydia, mars(for REALLY long, talked about so much! i love you dearie! hehe. naughty girl. ;)), sya, kak fardy, muslim even. and then i talked on the phone with my baby, he told me aaall about the boys' KL trip. the sleeping arrangement and zarir and abu and their antics (haha!), doraemon and his magic pocket (HAHA!), "welcome to whose line is it anyway, the game show where points don't matter, ladies and gentlemen. yes that's right, the points are like h*zer going to gep in secondary school." (HAHAHAHA!)
haha. it felt good. :) i guess in this way, i'm a homebody. ;) not the way nina is, ;) but in the way, how i can only feel right at home, at home. and i know i BELONG at home. :) and you give me a little bit of home, like talking to dearest friends and family, and i feel that much better. :)

ok toodle-oo! gotta get ready for school! and today i'm going to be the beaming, bouncing girl who bounces up to you with a huuuuuge grin across her face "HI! I'm yani!" ("watch me do a handstand!" says nydia)
haha. i shall be more open and talkative (yes i have to TRY). i usually clam up in front of strangers, until i can size them up, then i open up. ;) hehe. strange but true. for all the talk and noise and volume you hear from me, i am actually INITIALLY shy. go ahead, laugh. :P

i love everybody at home :) and i miss you all.. *hUuUgGs*
mars promises me a BiiiiiiiGGG party when i return, right mars? *beams*

why does this happen to me.

my laptop has once again, crashed.
thank you very much.

AARGH.

i was stupidly using limewire to download episode 1 season 1 of one tree hill, after my antivirus has expired!
aargh.

i was bored, and tv-deprived. yes my landlady does not have a television. uurgh. it's expensive to own anything here. anything. you need a tv license, which is like 126.50pounds a year. they even used to have radio license, wth!

i suppose someone with issues in his/her head sent me something really lethal, because i can't even start up my laptop in safe mode now! everytime i switch it on, i see the bloody blue screen, the one which tells you there's something wrong with your system and it has to shut down. i managed to start in safe mode once, and removed limewire, but was probably useless anyway cause whatever it was, it was already in my system! aaargh.

so.
no pictures for awhile. thankfully the pictures are safely in my memory card, but my old pictures! haii.
and i'm looking to see if king's has some kind of IT or notebook/computer support center, like the notebook center at nus i so regularly visit to fix my laptop. *rolls eyes*
i hope they or someone here can get my laptop reformatted (again, haii.). but i just realised. i didn't bring over my microsoft office cd! aargh! how!! (again i'm hoping the IT center or something can do something for me here.)

i feel like crying.
the net, more importantly the net on my own laptop, is my major line of communication with my family and friends. my webcam is on it.
aargh.

of pictures!

this was on the plane.
nothing much really.
except for bored people, airplane food and clouds.

volume 3 will be up soon, promise.
(because volume 2 is so boring. haha.)

so enjoy whatever you can!~ haha.

with my mummyyy! :)

dig in daddy!

dinner aboard thai air! (syaa! got chilli prawn! we onli had lousy fish curry that time eh. :P)

at transit in bangkok. "khrocksaa'!" (thai for "attention pls." i think. haha dat's wat it sounds like evrytym dey make an announcement ovr de pa system. right sya? ;))

the mummy and the daddy.

my new clean boots. haha i jus like how dey look.

11hrs in a foot-by-foot space is really mind-killing. (some pple dun have fathers who work with sia and get you business class mah. or is it first class. pooey.)

the wings upon which i fly. haha.

subhanallah :) how calm how serene..

we're flying above the clouds.. puffypuffy white clouds..

more beautiful puffypuffy comfy-looking clouds!

do you feel like a floating angel now?

we're IN a cloud! haha (i was bored la, cannot is it.)

breakfast..*yawn*

first sighting of uk land! or any land for that matter.

i've decided to put up my pictures, one baby step at a time.
hehe.
so let's start with

farewel@changi.

thank you all who came and gave me your love and support :)

my darlings
marsie, farah, nydia, shahidah, elly, adila, aisyah, izzati, suhaila, marlini, ida, i hope i didn't forget anyone! loves you allall! =D

dearest family(s)
wak ayob, wak ma'a, kak yah, kak wati, kak mala and the whole geng, and all the little babies and girlies! hehe
(loved their card. i have to show it to you kak long! there's a whole zoo of animals in the card, each holding up a name card, and the fattest elephant was danish! haha! and the pig and dog had big crosses, cannot use la, haram. haha.)
kaklong, haliim, mak nyayi, bik na, uli, luqman, paman, bik jun, cousins dearest, little rascal humairah!(i didn't take picture with her, argh darnit!)

the guys
huzer, shamir, luqman :) i didn't expect you guys there, a total pleasant surprise :) thanks all the same!

definitely not forgetting, the parents.
another unexpected yet totally warm pleasant surprise! it made me feel so loved, so remembered. :)
sya's parents, cik supiah and cik ibrahim, marsie's parents, cik tati (can i call her that? hehe. or ibu tati?? ;)) and cik rahman! all we needed was rozzie's mummy and daddy! i remember always getting rides from rozzie's mummy and crashing rozzie's place, using her pool, playing playstation, watching the oc(once. haha.) and saying "hi aunty!" and "bye aunty!" hehe!
u know dearies, my daddy tells me how our dads stood at the airport, watching us girls squeal and hug each other, and one dad(i can't remember which. hehe.) said ni budakbudak ni dah kawan dari skolah menengah dulu.. and another says a-ah, dah lama dah diorang berkawan. and sya's dad said dulu maser menengah dua ke gitu anak saya kan dah tido rumahnye cik hamid.. haha! our daddies are so cuute! and isn't that just so heartwarming? :) how they remember us! ;)

and of course, my baby dear. i love you. :)
and i miss you. :'(

okays so enjoys!~ hehe.

p.s. and thankyou all for your lovely gifts! brooches, tudung, letter set(along with a giant hint, no less. haha.), photo album, notebook(which so totally goes with my collection, wow!), a wonderfully personalized calendar, cards, letters and postcard! haha. haiish. :) i lurps you all!

me n some of my babes who were der! :)

maklin and suwaila! dear syahirah cudn come :( but i looves you all manymany anyways! ;)

my kakak vietnams! hehe :) thanksyou so muchmuch for coming to see me off!

zatii and shaa! :) *huUugs* love u both!

syazaaa!! definitely my most favourite girl der!! hehehhee! =D

me n some of de closest males in my life. i dun keep too many male frens. hehe.

my girl nieces!! rizqa anak kak yah, darwisha anak kak mala, syuhaida anak kak wati! hehe

all my dear friends who were der! excluding some who'd alredi left.. like marlini, su, kak yaya, kak bleen, kak fad.. thank you all so much! :)

my dearest and i.. i miss u darling.. :(

ok so back to where i left off.

sightseeing day was definitely gorgeous. :)

then fourth day = thursday.
i had made an appointment with a lady to see a house in shepherd's bush. after my first two house-viewings, i began to learn a thing or two. i realized the south was mainly black(and i was right as i was told so later), and the east more indian and muslim and mixed (and since i saw a couple of trailer parks when i was on the tube back from upton park, i figured it was the less wealthy end). and if you look at central london maps, the west end is the high end, if i may put it that way. knightsbridge, regent street, bond street, oxford street, notting hill, park lane, mayfair are all on the west end. hyde park is a huge chunk of the west end, and buckingham palace is right there too. so i was mentally selecting the west as a better area to live in. and when i found shepherd's bush on the west of london (but in zone 2, not zone 1 where the abovementioned streets and places are found), i thought it looked pretty good. plus the landlady i had talked to was a muslim lady, looking for a non-smoking female muslim tenant, a.k.a. ME! ;)
mama and ayah were getting pretty stressed too, since it was then thursday already, and they had to leave by sunday. so they were really hoping this one worked out. i did have two other places to look at after that, one at edgware rd (but i could only move in a couple of weeks later, and where the hell was i supposed to stuff my things and myself??) and one at mile end, again east end of london, but in zone 2 (not 3 where upton park was).
yea so we went to see the place early thursday morning. the appointment was at 10:30am but we left right after breakfast because we were afraid we couldn't find the place, or the place was far from the tube station etc. we found the place alright, and we were there by 10am! the walk from the tube station to the house was along the main road (they call it the high street) and it looked pretty good. every other store had HALAL on the front or on the signboard. there were halal butchers every 50m or so, supermarkets that carried fruits & veg, groceries and HALAL meat, HALAL fast food joints, there was even a nandos! *jump for joy!* there were lebanese restaurants, chinese take-outs, mediterranean shops, even shisha cafes! and to my (secret)joy, there stood a tall proud building, with its badge of arms displayed proudly out front, the shepherd's bush metropolitan police station! along the walk home! barely 300m(i think) from where i live! i have been secretly worried for my own safety out here in big ol london, well mainly because i've grown up in dear safe singapore. i mean in my twenty years at home, i have NEVER, i swear, NEVER come across a drunkard! not at the tampines interchange at 11p.m, not at orchard mrt station at midnight, NEVER! and on my second day in london, at the oval tube station, at like EIGHT p.m, a drunkard was right behind my parents and i. i swear i was how scared. he was yelling and talking rubbish. so my parents and i rushed down the escalator to the platform and into the train that was already there, and darnit he ran in right after us! and when he ran in he dropped his beer can right at my feet! i sort of hurriedly scampered away (can you imagine how comical i must have looked.) towards where my parents were sitting, and a very nice man beside them gave up his seat to me, so i could sit with them. haha. my goodness. i guess i have to toughen up huh.
ok so that aside (sheesh how i digress), the area looked pretty good. it looked like there was a pretty good mix of people. in fact, there is an evangelical church and a mosque within like 300m of each other! i took that as a good sign. people here must be pretty tolerant of each other since so many different groups co-exist in the area.
ok so we went to see the place, and it was space-y! it had lotsa space and i liked it! i was initially going for the single room, but the double had its own phone line, and i was looking to getting my own phone and internet connection (but it costs a bloody bomb.), so i asked for the double. it was 20pounds more than that of the single, but now i have a double bed, a wardrobe with shelves at the end and a desk in my room! PLUS i have a little balcony that i can walk out onto! it overlooks the driveway and the carpark, but it's nice to have something like that, don't you think? hehe.
yay! so now i stay in shepherd's bush! in a relatively safe neighbourhood insya'allah. :)
my landlady is a kenyan muslim lady, faathiyah. :) she's very nice and has been very hospitable to me. she has been around quite a bit, lived in the states, in the east for 2half years and west for 2half years too. she has a part of her family here, a few of her siblings, who have kids who are having kids. her niece just had a baby girl the day i moved in. :)
i don't think much happened on thursday, other than the fact that i found a place! so we put down the deposit on the room, and we were on our way, mama and ayah relieved that i now have a place to stay, and happy that it was in such a nice place with a nice muslim lady. :)
oh we went by buckingham palace on thursday too. just to take a look i guess. it was too late to get a tour in, cause it was like 4:15pm, and last admission was 4:30pm, plus we wanted to be back before maghrib. but we did take some time in the queen's gallery shop, where mama leafed through prince william's biography. she just loves looking at princess diana's pictures.

friday was moving day! we had a wonderful time re-packing my stuff into ayah's bag which we had emptied into the hotel's wardrobe, as my big luggage bag had popped open in the cargo (we here means mama. haha.). sheesh. haii. and then we had a wonderfully wonderful time lugging all seventy kilos of yani's world first from the hotel room to the lift, and then from the lift out onto the lobby! (now we here means ME. ME alone. because ayah had made himself scarce. sheesh.) ayah then found us at the hotel lobby, and we hired a mini-car, something like a cab, but it only works on-call and is not the london cab. so it was to shepherd's bush, where we unloaded and shoved everything into my room.
after that we had to rush to school because i had to collect some information regarding enrolling and the location of the campuses, and a letter verifying my address, before i could go open a bank account. we went by the king's college london guy's campus to get my school stuff. it was beautiful! i didnt take too many pictures though (but i promise i will, soon.) because we had been lost right before that, hence i wasn't in the mood too, and plus we were rushing to get to the bank before they closed! it was 4:15p.m by the time we got to the bank, and we were just in time, they closed at 5p.m. i had wanted to open a student account with hsbc because they were giving away mp3 players when you open a student account, BUT since i was only going to be here for like 4months, i couldn't! i could only open a lousy basic bank account, hence no free mp3 player, boo!
after that, it was pretty late again. we had plans to go on the london eye, but we decided to postpone it to the next day.

much of saturday was then spent looking for my house stuff. i needed a desk and a wardrobe (the room only had a bed then), and after much looking at a second-hand furniture store which had nothing and is such a rip-off for second-hand furniture, i got myself a desk for 27pounds at Argos, a really popular ikea-cum-courts-like store which has a really cool concept. the store is nothing but little stations where you stand and leaf through a catalogue of like over 2000 pages of household items from forks and spoons to plasma television sets to sofa sets to washing machines! we had to look for a rice cooker too, cause my landlady cooks it the old-fashioned in-a-periuk way, and the new-age anak dara would obviously have problems with that. the rice cooker (20pounds) at Argos was unfortunately out of stock, but luckily we found a shop up ahead which had one last piece. we also got myself an alarm clock, because we had so stupidly forgotten to bring one from home! and after much choosing, because i needed one with a REALLY loud alarm, i got a square silver alarm clock for 13freakingpounds! that's forty sing dollars, those thieves! haha. so then we walked back to the hotel (about 15min) with the 24.5kg unassembled desk, and mama carrying the rest of my things! ayah at the front and me bringing up the rear, we carried the 24.5kg box horizontally, about 1.5+m by 0.4m by 0.05m, back to the hotel, with much stopping and resting of course, because somebody has such weak un-exercised, un-toned arms. sigh.
so after praying and freshening up at the hotel, we hired another mini-cab again to take us and the 24.5kg unassembled table to shepherd's bush, and this time, we found the road leading to my apartment closed! why? because i live right next to the stadium of the queen's park rangers football club, and they were having a game that afternoon! fans all wearing the jersey were streaming in, and i was just thinking, how cool! so that afternoon was spent putting together the table (which i must say, i did beautifully albeit following instructions, because ayah seemed to refuse to read the instructions, and hence i took over.) poor mama was just watching and waiting, because it looked like london eye ride wasn't happening again. poor her. i feel so bad. :(
we finished assembling the table, rearranged my room a little bit and then went out to get some dinner. i was craving fast food (can you believe that? i'm a true city girl. haha.) and especially fries. lucky for me there were a few choices out here in my area, so we grabbed a bite and then got myself some groceries for the next couple of days, and then mama and ayah walked me back. and on the way i realised that i had left my laptop at the hotel reception's safe, dear me! so i had to meet them at waterloo international station the next day to get it from them. that evening they walked me back but I was worried about them getting back to paddington. the underground here is so complicated it's unbelievable. goodness. not only do you have to make sure that you're on the right platform, you also have to make sure you're taking the right train! because not all the trains on the green route for eg stop at each stop on the green route, because after some point, the green route branches out. yea whatever it is, it's just complicated, period. and i kept reminding my parents take the one that says edgware road on the front of the train, i was as worried for them as they were for me. :'( they left me in my apartment that night, and faathiya wasn't home. it was teary and all. i love my mama and ayah, and i miss them. :'(

so sunday morning i was off to waterloo international station, after a nice breakfast of chicken and mushroom flavoured oatmeal porridge. hehe. instant packet one la. haha. i was late meeting them because faathiya had said to take the bus, it was cheaper, but goodness it took two bloody hours! but i made it in time, half an hour before they were supposed to check-in. when i saw mama, it felt different. maybe because i knew i wasn't going to see her after that for sometime. when i salam-ed her, she wouldn't let go of my hand. she kept stroking them and feeling them in hers, and i loved the warmth of her touch. she asked me how my night was, what time faathiya returned, did we talk, what i ate, everything mama would ask. ayah then told me mama had cried all the way to the tube station the night before after leaving me at my apartment, because she was afraid i would be home alone that night and faathiya wouldn't come back. it was then time for them to check-in and set off for paris. i watched them go in through the gates, and i prayed hard for their safety and well-being. my parents aren't getting any younger, and they sometimes quarrel about where they should go and which way they should take. i was just scared for them, they were going to a foreign land that speaks a foreign language. but i knew they had His protection and He would be watching over them.
since i was at waterloo, and the king's college waterloo campus was just right there, i went to take a look. it was closed, being a sunday, but i wanted to make sure i wouldn't get lost on my way to school on the important enrolment day. i only saw it from the outside, but it didn't look as nice as the guy's campus.
i didn't do anything much, and then i went back. i was really free since school hadn't started and all, so i decided to cook myself up a big yummy comforting meal. i made honey chicken and tomyam soup! :D it was goooooood. :) i didn't finish of course, because i had made 2servings, so i stored in the fridge for the next day. looks like that's how it will be for now, kaklong did the same too i think, because you'd usually cook for more than one.

ok so since sunday i haven't done anything much. except straighten up my room, unpack into my new wardrobe, cook a few meals here and there, get my laptop hooked up to the connection here, the usual.
oh i forgot to mention, a little further up from my area, there is a mall! yay! haha. with a cinema! and before noon, the movies are really cheap, going at 3pounds instead of the usual 7-9pounds! i know 3pounds is expensive in sgd but hey. oh and there's a starbucks too. i haven't been in one, but i thought i saw the menu showing the price of something at 3pounds. again expensive in sgd, but oh well. haha.
there's a library in this area too, and a shepherd's bush market! apparently people from all over come here to pick up the best bargains! faathiya was telling me about it, it has ethnic jewellery (yea!), beautiful long skirts, tops, this and that and at bargain prices! i'm definitely checking it out one day. hehe.
oh and have i mentioned. my landlady doesn't have a tv!! aiii! yea. :\ so i'm thinking of getting a second-hand one. about 25pounds or so. BUT did you know. that you need a tv license to watch tv in the uk! my goodness me!(do we need one in singapore?) and it gets better. an annual license costs you like 126.50pounds! and you'd have to renew it every year! those thieves! they only sell the license in annual terms, but you can cut it if you don't need it for a three-month period or more, and they'll refund you. i'm thinking about getting that for myself. or should i try living without a tv? you think? (when i was staying at the hotel, i caught will and grace a couple of times. it's hilarious! it's about a girl and a gay guy who are best friends, and the messes they get themselves into. haha. funnyyy.)

yep that's about it for now :)
i'm calling my baby in an hour or so, whoopee! *griiin*
the landline here is free for evenings and sundays, and is free incoming all day! so he can call in anytime using icc and it will be free for me! and i can call out evenings and sundays using icc and it will be free! the charges go to the icc (which goes to his prepaid which his ibu bought for him, and for mine, it goes to ayah's icc subscription. hehe.).

so toodle-oo!~

i think about mama and ayah all the time, and i miss them so dearly. :'(

she was fine when she walked through the gates.
she was fine as she turned and waved goodbye to many.
she was fine as she smiled through the glass walls before she turned down the aisle.

she was bawling when her parents left her in her new apartment.
she was bawling as she watched them walk down the driveway from her bedroom window.
she was bawling that night as she unpacked into her new home.

she woke up the next morning to see her parents off on the eurostar.
she held back the tears when her mum kissed her goodbye again, this time for real.
but she teared as she once again waved them goodbye.

*-------*

it's been a week since i've been away from home. but independence only started today.
mama and ayah left on eurostar to paris today at 1pm.

there's so much to say i don't know where to start.

ok so first day.
got past immigration where i was granted allowance to live in the uk until dec 31st.
checked into abbeycourt westpoint hotel, 2min walk from paddington station.
walked about around the area, looking for a mobile phone shop.
walked up to edgware road, where many arabs/middle easters dwell.
first day was pretty much nothing.
oh a very nice muslim man showed us the way to the malaysian hall! where ayah got his much-loved, can't-live-without malay food.
we pretty much ate one meal there everyday.
oh and i called up a few people for house-viewing.

then second day.
i had two house-viewing appointments that day. one in upton park, in the east of london. it was a jolly long ride from where we stayed, and way too far from school for my liking. but the area was SO muslim! like 75% muslims according to mohd, the guy who showed us the house. the house was a quaint lil three storey, the bottom floor of which is occupied by the landlady(mohd's sister, who was then away) and her family of three. the upper floors were up for rent. there was a brand new kitchen, gleaming shiny and sparkling clean. a shower with a tub, basin and toilet. two bedrooms on the second floor, along with the shower and kitchen. and a third bedroom on the third floor, usually the attic. it had the cool sloping ceiling and a window that was angled up to the sky. since the first two bedrooms were already taken, i would be occupying the topmost floor. it was a cool room but it only had a bed, and i would have to wait till the landlady returned in a couple of weeks' time before i could get my wardrobe and desk and stuff. plus, the house was too far! it was in zone 3, and school was in zone 1. that would also mean higher fares! so this house wasn't looking too good.
we had lunch in the area, and was SO amazed by how many muslims we were surrounded with! more than in singapore! like i could count the number of white people we saw that afternoon. the area was very much indian and pakistani though, and it reminded me very much of little india, with the textiles shop, the grocerers, the jewellers and esp the beauty saloons lining the roads.

that evening, i had another lady to meet to see her place, which was near oval tube station, 2 stops away from school. since it was so near to school, my parents were hoping it would go well. this was in south of london, so we travelled on down south, and walked along the streets according to the lady's directions. it was a very long walk from the tube station, and we saw many houses on the streets, and they looked rather run-down and very badly maintained. the trash was overflowing the driveway, the gardens were either bare and brown, or overflowing with weeds. i didn't have a very good feeling about it. but more was to come. we went down a street i thought was the right one, and since she said her house was number 8 of the street, we stopped in front of a number 8. and as my parents and i, with our tudungs and my daddy's songkok, stood outside the house, there were 2 guys on the front lawn of the neighbouring house. the black guy was standing at the doorway of the house, hands on hips, and staring us down. the white guy with his cap askew, was leaning on the gate. neither was very well-dressed. as we waited outside the house, and as i called the landlady so she could come get us from out front, the white guy so very rudely said "nobody from your country stays here." i swear to god i was so scared i wanted to cry. the white guy said again, in a tone that could mean nothing but pure atrocity, "nobody from your country stays here. a white lady stays here." i couldn't say anything, my heart was beating so fast, i was so scared. he said "a white lady stays here, you here to see a white lady?" i was still frozen as i pressed my handphone to my ear, willing the landlady to answer. "you here to see a white lady? haa?" my daddy then replied, "yes, white lady." that boy then had the NERVE to ask "you here to see a white lady? is she your religion?" with a bloody SNEER on his face. all the while, the black guy stood where he was, staring us down, head lowered and looking at us from the top of his eyes.
the landlady then picked up my call and i realised i was on the wrong street. i was supposed to have gone further down and taken a right. so off we went, me still not saying anything except, "ayah. jalan, rumah salah."
it was only after i was away from the situation that i could think straight, and that was when i was enraged. (thank god i wasn't when i was faced with them. i might have said something that might tick them off.) on the walk back i was just raving and ranting to my parents. i was just thinking, eh sorry sikit ah brother. i came from MY country to YOUR country because i'm smart and i have something to offer and YOUR country wants me here. in fact, i don't know why you are so proud of YOUR country when you obviously don't contribute and do anything for it, you good-for-nothing. why are you so proud of YOUR race and YOUR country, and look down on me and mine when if we compare ourselves as human beings, i obviously fare so much better and is worth so much more to society and mankind. the colour of your skin isn't a measure of you as a human being, your effort and your desire to become a human being of worth is the true measure.
but it was a good thing that it happened. cause i then knew for sure that i wouldn't want to stay in that area, seeing that i would have to walk down that street everyday.
and that, my dear friends, was my first brush with racism.

third day was sightseeing day!
since i didn't have any house-viewing lined up for that day, we took the big bus around london! first stop was of course, harrods! my mum and i was so amazed at how harrods actually started as a family grocery store. and now, it carries labels i don't dare touch! i saw a beautiful coat with fur along the collar, oh such soft fur. £525 could you believe that! i could get a flight back with that! but actually just BEING inside harrods made you feel rich. haha. the staff greets you and you walk amongst such expensive products, with the luxurious lighting and generous displays. yeah, you feel rich. until you realize that the products on the rack across from you add up to more than your nett worth. haha. oh well.
the bus brought us all around london, the famous notting hill (or may i say nothing hill, there's nothing to see there really, unless you pretend the guy walking down the street was hugh grant or something.), the giant hyde park (which was actually 5min walk from our hotel), the oh-wow high-end shopping streets of london, bond street, oxford street, regent street. end-to-end boutiques and famous expensive labels. i was definitely wow-ed away by the shopping scene. but i swear to god i did not DARE step down from the bus or even THINK about entering those shops. i didn't want to get an epileptic fit, hyperventilate or die, even. and if i did, i would probably be homeless now. and for the next four months. haha.
but the best part about london is definitely the old school architecture. i'm just a sucker for old red brick buildings, thick stone columns, spires atop churches and chapels; rustic handsome buildings are just my cup of tea. i could stand and look at them forever. they just look like castles! i also love the little bars and cafes around the corner which have been standing since like the 15th century! and the guide tells us, that's where charles dickens used to sit and write, that's where shakespeare used to go, and this and that. sadly, i read neither charles dickens nor shakespeare (you're talking to a true-blue science and math nerd.) haha. but if i did, i would definitely have been over the moon. haha. but i was content just looking at the buildings. with their red brick exterior, thick black window frames, with flowered shrubs growing off the window ledges, wow. it's like i'm sitting atop the bus and i'm snap-happy taking pictures of plain ol london buildings! we went down park lane and mayfair, and if you play monopoly, you'd feel how i felt. haha.
the guide on the bus was very good. he told us so much about what we were seeing and where we were at. much land in london is owned by aristocratic families, and one of them houses the american embassy. the only american embassy not on american land, and the land is owned by the grover family of london. how cool how cool. and the guide said the american govt is working hard to get the land, but "they" spoke to the grover family, and according to the grover family, if america ever gives britain north carolina back, they'd consider giving up that piece of land. haha. we also learnt that where the royal family owns the land, the street lamps have little crowns on them! how cute! (i have pictures, will put up later. ;))
the guide also told us of the king who was beheaded by his own people. civil war watnot (i suck at history, see. i love hearing the stories though. haha.) and the parliament won. and they ordered the beheading of their own king! the atrocity! haha. king charles or was it henry or george. was it george the third? i don't know. one of them. haha.
oh and the tower of london. william the conqueror built it up in 1066. and it's still there! all majestic and my goodness, wow. it's a true fortress from way back from the medieval ages. and the bridge that he used to get into london. william duke of normandy. (boy (my brother), you know these things. you would have been head over heels seeing them for real!) and it still amazes me how a castle can stand across the road from a tall glass modern building. oh my, what a sight. it actually brought into perspective what i learnt in singapore studies last semester. (oh hey! i learnt something from it afterall!) singapore with its bulldozer razing method of building up, clearing everything in sight and starting from a clean slate, definitely loses out to london. i am still in awe that a cafe, a mere cafe, on the corner of a block, that was from the 15th century, after the london fire, is stil standing today! oh and since i mentioned the london fire (of which there stands a monument to commemorate it. cool huh. it was started by a candle that someone forgot to put out in a bakery, and destroyed two-thirds of the city of london, on the south bank of river thames. and which people from the city of westminster across river thames stood, watching the raging flames.) there was also the bubonic plague, the rats. i mean the story, not the real rodents. haha. oh there was mention of the gates or walls of london, and i vaguely remember reading about it in some books. where people not from the city of london had to leave the city when a bell chimed, and if they were caught behind the gates when the gates were closed, they had to face a penalty or punishment of some sort.
we went down the river thames, saw the london eye and all other buildings on the banks. oh and the westminster abbey. oh my golly wow! it's GORGEOUS. how majestic and oOomph. the structure, the detail. my, my. the only thing that sets it back? it's the parliament's. i'd rather it be royal. it's like hello parliament?? need to be so great, so grand, meh? i definitely respect royalty more than parliament, although it's parliament who runs the country. but royalty is like a gift from god. you were born royal, your ancestors were royal. my daddy tells me an ustaz said it's kurniaan tuhan. an anugerah from Him. (but unless you're on the right path it's pretty much worthless.) but really. the people love the royal family, they respect them, they uphold them. the royal family gives the country such dignity, i feel. parliament members go up and down. but if you're a prince, you're a prince. it's in your blood. you can be a thrashy junkie prince if you may, but at the end of it all, you carry blue blood in your veins, and if you don't cherish it, it's your loss. haha. oh well that's just what i feel. haha. oh and the big ben, the famous london clock tower? it isn't the big ben. it's the westminster clock tower. big ben is the name of the bell sitting within the clock tower. so you don't see the big ben, you see the westminster clock tower. you hear the big ben. aaah.
and along the river, we saw the london royal school for boys (i think). it's been there for ages and it got me really excited when (true blue science nerds, here we go.) the guide told us isaac newton used to go there! wait, did he? no he didn't. haha. it was only his statue up on the front of the building. haha. forgive me, that's wrong information right there. haha.
my parents and i wanted to go on the london eye, but the few times we were in the area, it was either too late, or bad weather (and you can't see anything in bad weather, so waste of money.). yea and in the end, we never did take it. boo. i might though, one of these days. it's right across from where i go to school. ;) cool or what huh. my campus is across the river from westminster abbey. helloooo blair! haha.
oh and by the time we were at the river, my camera died on me. :( AND most of the time i was taking pictures of scenery and buildings, and of my parents. so you won't see much of me. i had a hard time trying to teach my parents exactly how i wanted to have the picture taken, and they always take pictures senget, or part of the building behind me is cut off, so i gave up. i'm very particular about this, and i need my fellow camerawhores! haha. ;) darnit. yea so dear friends, you have to settle for less of me and more of london. ;) that will hence ensure you miss me more and want me to come back sooner! ;) hahaha.

ok this is getting really long. shall i leave fourth, fifth and the following days to tomorrow? ;)
haha.
ok toodles! :)

i miss everyone, and i love you guys. thanks for all your well wishes and sweet thoughts. i miss you all dearly. :')

i miss my baby i miss my baby i miss my baby.
he's calling me tonight!
*beams*
yay yay!
*dance around*

after 2 days of screaming, hair-pulling, desperation, wardrobe-vetting, despair, close-to-tears, struggling, wrestling with and sitting on giant luggage bags, i have successfully packed not one, not two, but five bags! yes, five. :)

how do i get so much luggage weight allowance?

well, here's the story.
everybody gets 20kg right? so with my parents coming along with me(yes they are, and then they are off to paris. coolness or wat.), i'd get 60kg right? but since i'm going as a student(without a return ticket), i get extra ten kilos, making it 30kg! and so my dear daddy went down somewhere-i-dunno-where, some office where he personally met the airline person to clarify and get approval that i will get my extra ten kilos, and THEN the airline person gave us TWENTY extra kilos! that makes it a grand total oooooof... NINETY kg. *beams* give and take 20kg for my parents, that leaves me with SEVENTY WHOLE KILOGRAMS! (and yet i still struggled.)
yesyes. so not only did i pack as much of my wardrobe as i could, i packed my kitchen in as well! haha!
AND i get the luxury of bringing with me NINE pieces of winterwear! *beams*
(explains the struggle.)

i did want to take pictures of the whole packing process(trust me it was a sight to behold.), but i couldn't be bothered to get up to fetch the camera, and there was too much unsightly litter (read=lingerie) lying around and in the bags. haha.

oh and. i met up with shahidah today for lunch. :) felt good. reaaallyy good. :) needed that talk, that time. i'm glad we did this. it wouldn't have been fair if we hadn't. :)
learnt some things which were less than pleasant too. :(
sometimes, as much as you trust and think that you know a person, she may not be all that.
sometimes, i just wish people are what they seem.
but sadly, the world does not work like that.
people will be what they are, what they insist on being.
but i shan't busy myelf delving further into it; emotionally, mentally or physically.
que sera sera. what will be, will be.
and.
what goes around comes around.
i'm sure you've learnt that already, haven't you?

on a lighter note!
tomorrow's my kakak's convocation ceremony! i think we're taking family picture/portrait(?) too. hmm. what shall i wear. decisions, decisions. ;)

AND.
i'm kinda(really) craving for a real good last dinner before i fly north.

:)

many a day have i pondered, thinking about what i wanted to have become, what i wanted to have acheived. few days pass without me questioning why He deprives me of my greatest desire, my greatest ambition.

it was difficult to come to terms with, but i did so. and i face each day believing that there's always a reason. He has His reasons.

and a day like this puts it all into perspective.

where i stand today did not happen by chance. it was all part of a plan, His plan.

:)

kenduri doa selamat was 2days ago, on sunday. (hence, it is now at t minus 5 days and couting. eeks.)
so much happened, so much i wanna say.
:)
but words simply won't do justice to the magnitude of how i felt.
so i shall resort to just summing the day up in point-form.
;)

1. babies galore! (includes kindergarten- and toddler-aged ones too. haha.) babies to the left, babies to the right, babies babies everywhere! haha sOo cuuutee! (naughty too.) andAND. not JUST babies, but GIRL babies! my family is girl-infested! woohoo! the boys are few and big. haha.

2. the set-up was grander than i had anticipated. food table was outside. buffet line, long table, green skirting, silver trays. (it was like someone was getting married. and yes, i had to endure the hey!-yani's-getting-married, hatta-kat-dalam-pengantin-dah-siap cracks. ;))

3. the fooood! oh the glorious food! briyani ayam, briyani dum, ayam masak merah, pacri nanas, acar buah, and my absolute favourite.. tulang! (i have a newfound favourite food. :D) not to mention all the kuih people brought! (thanks all! :)) the many varieties of epok-epoks and agar-agars/jellies, kuih kaswi, kuih koci, kuih bingka, apam pisang, oh my, the list goes on! and with my sweet-tooth, there was/is no stopping me! (there are leftover kuihs which i happily munched on today!)

4. the rewang-ness, gosh. the cousins, aunts and uncles, bent over the pots, packing food for the guests to take home, running around refilling the fast-emptying silver serving trays, making drinks, the joking, laughter and chatter amidst the grueling work. :) gosh thank you all, thank you everyone. :)

5. the raya-likeness. starts with the pre-kenduri. the major overhaul of the house, major facelift. the scrubbing and cleaning, the fresh clean curtains and bed linen put up. it simply smelt like hari raya. and then, the baju kurungs, and for the guys, the songkoks. the relatives, the little kids, the noise. oh gosh, oh gosh. and since i won't be having a hari raya with them all this year, i drank it all in. every ounce of raya-ness i sensed, i cherished. :)

6. the gifts! haha ;) okok so i'm a brat. but really. i didn't expect gifts! ("collection" maybe la, but not gifts. haha. tak tahu malu, i know. :P) a whole box of goodies from my darliings su, syahirah, zati and marlini (a notebook, a notebook a prettypretty notebook!, dried and instant foods, chocolate, shawl, lip balm, comfycomfy soft purple pillow, pretty flowers, oh my oh my! *glee!*). prettypretty tudungs from aisyah and aliya :) a giiiaant box of merci from mama's friend! *yuUmyUum* bodyshop papaya oil mist from idamurni and luqman, starbucks create-your-own-tumbler tumbler from muslim, huzer's rather pretty green "accessory bag with handle", gold vw beetle skeleton adorned with 5 giant coloured swarovski crystals, complete with white ones for the headlights, which i suspect cost more than what i'd like a gift to cost, from ibu(hatta's aunt)! oh golly!~

7. most importantly, the love and being around the loved ones. :) feeling their support and their joy. indescribable, words simply don't suffice. *smile*

there. the seven things of the kenduri. :)