Tuesday, October 31 | 9:57 pm

:[edit]:
i'm a horriblehorrible person. i said "don't bring your kids and wife down with you." which means, in my mind, smokers = men. tsk.
:[/edit]:

did you know that

2 lit cigarettes in medium-sized room (average size of an HDB bedroom) can give rise to a PSI of 300?

ASTOUNDING!! (hahahahaha. what a funny word to use. but i thought apt.)

i heard it on channel 5 news tonight. there was apparently a global study done. they also said that in the above situation, the pollutant level goes up to 622microgram/micron of air (ok at this point, i gave up trying to recall the report and decided to google it.)

so here:
----------------------------
Indoor smoking makes air 28 times more polluted
By Julia Ng, Channel NewsAsia | Posted: 31 October 2006 1814 hrs








SINGAPORE: The National Cancer Centre has conducted a global study on indoor smoking and air pollution in over 400 locations in 20 countries.

It found that in Singapore, the air quality in pubs and eateries which allow indoor smoking is 28 times more polluted than smoke-free sites and outdoor venues.

When the skies are clear and the air quality is in the good range (at a Pollutant Standards Index reading of under 50), there are about 15 microgrammes of PM2.5 microns per cubic metre - a level that doctors say is acceptable to public health.

PM2.5 are fine particles that are small enough to go down the airways and can be cancer causing.

When the PSI hits 300, it means there are more than 251 microns per cubic metre.

The study has found that it takes just two lit cigarettes, in an enclosed room the size of a HDB bedroom, to generate 622 microgrammes of pollutants.

That is an air quality that is almost two and half times more polluted than when the PSI is at the hazardous level of 300.

Dr Koong Heng Nung, Principal Investigator of Global Air Monitoring Study and Senior Surgical Oncologist at the National Cancer Centre Singapore, says: "We scream and we complain a lot when we see a PSI hitting 150. If you translate that to this air pollution measure that we've done as part of this global study, it goes beyond the hazardous section of the scale.

"It's very startling because that's the exposure that all of us second-hand smokers will get exposed to when we visit locations that allow indoor-smoking."
----------------------------
http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/singaporelocalnews/view/238611/1/.html

ok smokers listen up. you want to smoke, go somewhere else!! you want to faster die, faster die ALONE!

don't bring your kids and wife down with you. so there. :P

anyway. the title i gave my post is actually about something else. haha. but it also seems relevant to the smoking article. in more ways than one.

ok so. (the following could be easily misintepreted, especially if you don't understand me, and are not the likes of me. if you want to read, then i'm not stopping you. hell it's on a public blog right. of course people are gonna read it. but judge not. and let me be.)

i've taken quite a beating lately. from no one else but myself.

i did horrendously for the recent immunology ca, and i can't for the life of me figure out how or why. what went wrong? i understood my concepts, i studied for the test, i felt prepared, i was cool during the test and i walked out of it, although not confident of a super grade, thinking i did ok. so how did i end up with a C+?
i'm trying to understand what went wrong. you have to pardon me, this has never happened to me before. granted when i don't study, i don't expect to do well. but this time i studied. i understood. i could explain!! and the equation of my life has always been: prepare for it = do well. it's always been that simple.

it's easy to blame the paper, the format, the questions. yes it was true/false mcq with negative marking, and yes they asked tricky questions about the littlest details. no they didn't release the raw scores; all they released was the distribution of grades and the spread was very large. (usually indicating that the cohort did badly and the raw scores moderated. the spread also indicates that the raw scores were very close, since there was no peak at the normal.) yes, it's easy to go "well, actually.."

but NO. i need to think about how I have been performing. about how I NEED to be performing.

and it gets tiring. like i've told a few of my closest friends. it gets fucking tiring to be working so hard, to be pressurising yourself so hard to do well at something you didn't even actually want to do.

my chest gets tight and it makes me want to cry. so many times it's happened this semester. after the physio test (which was by the way infinitely worse than the immuno test), meeting sya on 95 and even just sitting on my own. it's constantly on my mind; it's like i'm haunted. i'm always questioning myself - what are you doing? what are you driving towards? and then i have an answer. but then a smarter, wiser me asks again - is that what you really want to do? are you going to be satisfied? are you ever going to come to terms with yourself?

and it always ends with me wishing i could go back in time, and how i could have done things differently.

it's more frequent this semester, and a lot heavier and harder to swallow. it makes me wonder if i've been pretending these past couple of years. and it's only surfacing now, because i'm getting tired. who have i been trying to fool? the biggest fool would be me.

|
Friday, October 27 | 10:26 pm

i don't expect anyone to really learn ketupat weaving online though. still, it was fun trying to figure out how to explain everything. ;)

|
| 10:23 pm


start like this. well, actually start by removing the central vein of the coconut leaf, and use the two halves like so.

|
| 10:22 pm


hahahaha get this! first right-hand loop over first left-hand loop (1), then it goes under the second left-hand loop (2). fold down the leaf to make a loop first. (3) and finally it goes over the third left-hand loop (4). then, second right-hand loop goes under first-left hand loop (5), (while trying to keep the previous woven row intact) over second left-hand loop (6), and under the third left-hand loop. 7, 8, 9 are actually 1, 2, 3. haha. well, do like the first row, to get the third row. give up yet? ;)

|
| 10:13 pm


ta-da! this is the rangka. (skeleton) bear in mind the in-out-in-out weaving throughout. (ok the next stage gets really tiring and confusing.)

|
| 10:11 pm


ketupats have 4 ends. (since 2 halves of a leaf were used.) 2 ends are short, and the other 2 are long. this is a short end. short ends travel only 1 length of the ketupat.

|
| 10:09 pm


this is a long end. long ends travel 2 lengths of the ketupat, and ends up at the corner of the ketupat opposite to the short end.

|
| 10:08 pm


the second short end.

|
| 10:06 pm


this is the last of the 4 ends, and it's a long one. this one should end up meeting the other long one, diagonal to where the short ends meet.

|
| 10:03 pm


you almost have the ketupat! but, see all those loose loops?

|
| 10:02 pm


you tug and pull at the loops to tighten.

|
| 10:01 pm


so you keep pulling until the ketupat becomes nice and tight.

|
| 10:00 pm


there you go! all done! and good job to you if you stuck it out to this point. ;)

|
| 9:59 pm


pretty ketupats!

|
| 9:58 pm


that's all of 'em!

|
| 9:57 pm


these are two different types of ketupat! (actually there's a third - but i dunno how to make that one. haha.)

|
| 9:56 pm


this is a ketupat bawang. so FAT!!

|
| 9:56 pm


and this is a ketupat pasar. i much prefer this one. :)

|
| 9:55 pm


fill 'er up! gotta be a bit careful here. fill too much and it comes out all hard, fill too little it comes out mushy. :P but i i prefer softer ones to the hard ones! nicer to eat, less tiring to chew. haha.

|
| 9:54 pm


then you tie them up in bundles, and off they go into the bigbig pot!

|
| 9:53 pm


the brother keeping watch on the fire. he is a total pyro.

|
| 9:52 pm


it's cooking!

|
| 9:51 pm


a good 8h later, done! :) yummy i loove ketupat! so raya-ey! :)

|
| 9:28 pm


my sister's right hand.

|
| 9:27 pm


her left. i did her right first, so by this hand, my drawing hand cramp already. :P

|
| 9:26 pm


no faaairr. my sister gets BOTH hands done. i not so zai - my left hand cannot draw on my right! boo.

|
| 9:25 pm


and this was my left hand. i did my own hand last (of course what, if my hand got henna already, it'll be difficult to do hers, for fearof messing up my own. :P), and my hand damn cramp already laa! see the lines all so uneven. :P

|
| 9:23 pm


check this out. at forever21. we (zat and i) saw manymany poor boyfrens/husbands sitting it out! they looked so overly bored!! hahaha what a sight.

|
| 9:17 pm


lunch yesterday. had to go send the ixus to harbourfront to get fixed, and so had lunch at banquet. (yes there's banquet at vivo.) mini-tomyam steamboat! it was greeaaat. sedap giler. :)

|
| 9:16 pm


a cuppa to end off a tiring night. (that time with zat.) can't see it here, but it was huuuge actually.

|
Thursday, October 26 | 2:19 am


the sibs, in the car! :)

|
| 2:18 am


my cousin-in-law makes and sells rings! ok there's no clear view of a ring here, but i ordered two! as soon as i wear them, i'll take photo and put it up. ;) so if you want, you can order too. hehh.

|
| 2:15 am


taking photos with the kids. esp difficult with the younger ones! hence, the multiple shots. ;p

|
| 2:14 am


first house on the daddy's side. :) my eldest (direct) aunt. (abit complicated this side. got step-step-families, but this aunt is the eldest direct sibling. if that makes any sense.) so that's my family, with two of my cousins' families. they're the aunt's kids, who are now married with their own kids! so my parents make up the grandaunt and granduncle generation in this photo! which makes me the aunt generation! yiikes!

|
| 2:09 am


first house on mummy's side. my nyayi!! :) :) :) strangely though, it was empty when we got there! well, only one other family, which was leaving as we arrived. boo. dunno why the other families changed route/house-order this year. :( and of course, the host family was out by the time we arrived - 1pm. they also have their many houses to visit. :p howels, nevermind! because my mummy has invited most of my cousins (with kids) to come on saturday! looks like we'll be staying in. (this is also an indication of aging! my parents are slowly turning into the visitee, not the visitor anymore! aiyee!)

|
Monday, October 23 | 8:55 am

raya came early this year.

my whole family stayed up last night (to varying hours) because

kiter rebus ketupat!! :) :) :)

(we were boiling ketupat!! :) :) :))

and my mum and i effectively got 2h (or less) of sleep. my dad and sister got at least an hour more.

but guess who's at work/school today? MY MUM AND I.

and guess who's on leave/has no work today? MY DAD AND SISTER.

i really feel like the walking dead. i'm gonna fall asleep at every opportunity i get.

anyways. to quote my mum: mama suker buat ketupat.. kalau takder ketupat macam tak hari raya..
(i like making ketupat.. without ketupat it doesn't feel like hari raya..)
WHEE!! i COMPLETELY echo her sentiments! :) :) :)
so there i was, all day saturday and sunday, anyam-ing ketupat! (weaving ketupat!)
and. *drumroll* i also successfully taught my sister how to anyam ketupat!! ;) ;) ;)

usually we boil the ketupats on the day of the eve of raya, not the night before the eve. but this year, my mum's got work (she works shifts) and i've got school. :p so that leaves my dad and sister only. and i think my mum was more worried that my dad and sister might not be able to handle it all more than anything else, so she announced last night that she wanted to start boiling immediately!!

so there we were last night - the ladies filling the ketupat sachets with rice grains. while the men started the fire and got the water boiling.

i've got photos! :) which shall be up sometime soon. :)

here's an early

SELAMAT MENYAMBUT AIDIL FITRI!
mohon maaf zahir dan batin. :)

|
Wednesday, October 18 | 8:39 pm

i am sick. i blame the haze. i spent monday afternoon sitting at the benches at s16 lobby - big mistake. too much haze inhalation!! :(

i hate sore throats and coughing. so painful and gross. i can't think of anything that feels worse. :(

why? it eludes me.
i will always ask why,
and nobody can give me an answer.

|
Sunday, October 15 | 9:45 pm

nevertheless,

happy 21st birthday, my angel.

:)

it's the sixth one together now :)
not to mention the seventh ramadhan.

i wish you only the best in life
and promise to give you only the best in love,
which is what you only deserve.

i pray that He lays your path with
longevity, bliss and rezeki
.

i also pray for the strength and ability
to shower you with as much love
to provide you with as much amelioration
and to share with you as much joy
as you do for me.

may we have many more happy birthdays to share.
:)

|
| 7:26 pm


check that out. TERRIBLE. :(

|
| 7:25 pm


happy 21st my love!

|
| 7:24 pm


destination: vivocity!

|
| 7:24 pm


guess where you can find a snowman in singapore??

|
| 7:23 pm


by the bay @ vivocity! but the haze was REALLY bad. :( and it got to the poor bday boy, who was already sick.

|
| 7:00 pm


pretty envelopes right!!

|
| 6:44 pm


ok so. after so many birthdays (and during such a stressful period, AND after my russellpeters surprise got thwarted by stupid engine-men :( ), i REALLY had no clue what to do anymore. so instead of just, ok we shop, and you can get whatever. i made CHEQUES!! HAHAHA. BANK OF YANI OK. got my own LOGO somemore. :D :D :D in three denominations. and he could choose only one. and one of them was a BLANK cheque. cheydeybah. hehe ;) so we were to go shopshop at vivocity. i had looked up online to see what shops there were at vivocity, and i thought they were pretty good - adidas, topman, levi's, nautica (apparently he doesn't like it anymore.) and others. BUT. the crowds were crazy and the poor boy was sick. :( so it was unfortunately futile. nevermind, next time kay baby? :) (oh yah, he didn't pick the blank cheque. ;) )

|
| 6:40 pm


there was also a card. and i made everything in triplicates, mind you. EVEN THE CARDS. haha. each said something different, but they all tied-in with each other. (and yes, he did get to read all of them. and to check out the other values of the other cheques, to see if he had gotten the best deal. ;) )

|
| 6:36 pm


another giift! (check out the watch yo.)

|
| 6:29 pm


collages of photos to hang in his room!! these are pretty old photos, like you know.. pre-21 memories. ;)

|
| 6:28 pm


triggerhappyy!!

|
| 6:27 pm


buurpsday present from mummy y'all. ;)

|
| 6:23 pm


(birthday)iftar with the familyyy!

|
| 6:22 pm


the girlfriend and the sisterr!!

|
| 6:22 pm


we were at kintamani restaurant, furama hotel! food was appreciable, indon cuisine. :) cumi goreng(bakar?), ayam panggang BERKAKAK (??), ayam KODOK(!!!!) bali, gado-gado and more pretty good stuff with less weird names. :)

|
| 6:19 pm


the buuurpsday boboyy!! :) :)

|