Sunday, May 28 | 8:28 pm

saturday has got to be my favourite day of the week.
waking up late, meeting babylove, yummyyumyum in my tummytumtum, and sometimes, if i'm lucky, i get to hang with more peoplepeople i love! :) :)

mm, then friday gets second place. :) because friday i usuaaally meet up with friends! and if i'm lucky, babylove will be there too! :) :)

anyways. so yesterday, babylove parked at the cathay cineplex. although we weren't specifically headed for any destination. still, i can't wait for that place to be fully open!! a few places are up and running, like ben&jerry's (omg, yippee!!), adidas, starbucks, and a couple of random shops i didn't really take note of.

baby and i didn't really know what we wanted to do. definitely not movie though. we both saw two movies already this week, dvc together, xmen separately. not like there's anymore we're dying to catch. the ones that we do wanna catch aren't out yet, so boo.

and so we ended up waaaaaalking to bugis!!

to do what??

eat fish & co. =l

i wanted to scream. there's fish&co glasshouse next to park mall right!! and the cathay cineplex is like across the road from park mall!! almost lah.

whatever it is, fish&co is still yummyyumyum. so, :) and we had the passion fruit and kola tonic with refills! and when we got the refills, we swapped drinks! :D yays!

oh and we fought a couple of times, grr.

but he did say, "ok we've met our quota of fights already. that's better."

i'm like, "huh? did you say better?"

"yalah. we haven't been fighting for awhile. fight a bit, healthier relationship.."

=l

that night, he went off with his usual boys to play games, while i met my lovely goviet-ers! :) :)

definitely definitely happy happy. :)
we did a round of updates, and omg. i feel old! (ironically, i should feel young.) cause everyone is graduating/graduated. omg! then then, i started thinking, if they go.. who's going to be our seniors? like our seniors are gone! OMG! I'M going to be a senior!! :O

back in secondary school, i couldn't wait to be a senior. to rule the school, to walk around school like you owned it, well, cause you do. but i just don't know why it never occurred to me that i'm going to have to be a senior in university. ack!

i guess cause being a senior in university means you are that close to leaving school and becoming a full-fledged adult. by that, i mean the smallest of small fries in the dog-eat-dog, rat-racing world we live in. because leaving university means that you are now for once, actually carving your way into this world. no more planning, no more when-i-grow-up thoughts, because hey, you are grown-up. that is scary, and i try as best as possible to shut out scary thoughts. like what if i lose babylove, what if i really am destined to be nothing more than the average individual, what if i never really make my parents proud.. =l =l

go away. *shudders* hate scary thoughts.

it's definitely nice to hear how everyone's life is up and about. :) definitely have to mention, so many going to nie!! hehe some fulfilling that long-time dream, while for some others, it's a stepping stone to something bigger, something they've always dreamed of.

that's what life is about, isn't it?
making dreams, chasing dreams, fulfilling dreams.

and sometimes it bugs me that you don't seem to have a direction. or aren't sure where you are headed, or what you wanna do. at the back of my mind, i know you do. or maybe, i trust that you do. whatever it is, i have to learn to trust that you will make it happen. i need to teach myself to trust you more. but why is it so difficult? i need you to take me by the hand and teach me, please.

anyway, back to the dinner. apart from career/work-centric questions, there was also the when's-the-wedding question for the couples that showed up together that night. ;) and for one happily married couple, the question: when can we expect the first baby? hehe

and the only people left in school are the yr4 engine boys, kak yaya and the eightyfives who are zati, sya and me.

one last mention, to ijal and anwar. for all the jokes and the laughter they brought up, so reminiscently vietnam. :)

despite the aftermath, for one and for many, i still hold vietnam days dear.
and i bet, they do too. :)

|
| 8:25 pm


babylove! :)

|
| 8:24 pm


fish & co.'s swordfish collar! yumm! baby always has this, and even when i'm having it, he still insists on having it too!

|
| 8:23 pm


with best friend syakittycat! after boyfriend time, before goviet dinner!

|
| 8:22 pm


syani with kak fardyyy!! definitely one of the spunkiest kakaks we know! she's off to nie to be PE teacher!! (and english lah) she's like how super athletic, varsity basketball team ok!

|
| 8:21 pm


one of the cutest couples from viet. ;) sneakysneaky ijal and blurblur aleen. i hope she doesn't get bullied too much!

|
| 8:20 pm


the front is criss cut fish melted cheese, which 6 people had, upon recommendation by kak yaya. ;) the back is chicken bbq peppers. overall, i would say the food didn't rank too well. (maybe cause i already had swordfish collar that afternoon. :P) hehe. but sya thought so too. maybe we just came in with higher expectations. howels. company rocked though! ;) many laughs, many jokes, many viet moments revisited. :) oh btw, zati dear. the eightyfives have been duly nominated to organise the next reunion! by sheer elimination of busy working people with no free time on their hands. ack. ;)

|
| 8:14 pm


with carol, anwar, kak murshi and kak yaya! :)

|
| 8:13 pm


this with the other half of the table. :)

|
| 8:10 pm


that's about everyone who was there that night, save for aidil and kak dianah, who left earlyy.

|
| 8:04 pm


one more shot, supposed to be funfunfunky one right. in the end, only 4 mentel girls rose up to the occasion. ;)

|
| 7:47 pm


trip home with the easties! (except, anwar's not in the photo. hehe.)

|
Saturday, May 27 | 3:30 am

caught da vinci code monday night with hattaboy and huzer.
goodgood. :) we couldn't figure out if we found it better than expected because:
1. we walked in knowing that movies adapted from books are not usually as good as the book itself, hence lower expectations.
2. we read the book a long time ago, so we only have fuzzy memories of the scenes and plots. in fact, the boys were expecting someone to burst into flames on the vatican dome. i'm like uh isn't that angels and demons??
3. as a movie, dvc managed to portray the story well. it covered all bases, and left little room for loopholes.


aaaaaaaaaand.

caught x-men 3: the last stand tonight with sya and mars!
my baby warned that it was going to be disappointing. true enough, lousy end. so:
1. jean grey looks like a setan when she goes all phoenix-y. with her flaming red hair somemore.
2. jean grey is a slut who can't decide between wolverine and cyclops, so she just wants both. *slaps forehead*
3. omg he died!! or didn't he?
4. so many x-men were useless. jean grey just stands and look garang. i also can be jean grey. (esp since many pple seem to think i'm garang on first impression. :P) but then again, she barely talked throughout the show, and i don't think i can handle that. and then rogue was also useless. i think she had a grand total of 15min screentime. simply put, too many x-men, too little time.
5. can finally see cyclops' eyes! (i'm all about the eyes. ;))
can't say i didn't enjoy it, but neither did i love it. i always did want to watch it. preferred x-men 2 though. actually, loved x-men 2, which was why i wanted to catch x-men 3. i want more i want more! i watched the cartoon last time ok!

aaaaaaaaand both times i didn't bring camera! :( :(

oh yah. got results today!

alhamdulillah. :)

i'm still a four-pointer, still a four-pointer!! *wheeeeww.*
better yet, it's my highest sap so far! *beams*

my cap isn't as high as i would like it to be, but nevertheless, a four a four!! in fact, my cap climbed(ok fine, inched) by 0.09 points! hehe.

btw.
sap: semestral average point. for the modules in that particular sem only.
cap: cumulative average point. for all modules completed to date.


i improved!! :) :) alhamdulillah.

i was in such a mess the past sem, so much so that by the time exams rolled around, i told myself to just get it over and done with, hence taking on a much more laidback attitude. no stress, no going crazy, i'm just glad i managed to sail through. :)

most grades were expected, with the exception of..
one pleasant surprise: A- for bioinformatics! hahahahahaha! the one i knew/know no shit about! :)
one disappointment: B+ for molecular bio. :( i liked/like this module/field of life science. wished i had done better, can't believe i got done in by stupid tricky mcqs! puii.
so overall effect was kinda nulled. haha.

the others i kinda expected.
A+ for german. no surprises there. ;)
A for introductory biostatistics. despite the bad wind about the paper being unmanageable in the time context, i aced it! i think partly because, i walked in with that in mind, so as i did the paper, i did on faith. i never doubted what i had already done, i didn't bother pressing calculator twice for the same mathematical function. my war chant - just do, just do. this one also, i pushed back until a day before the paper before i actually got around to practising questions. so again, alhamdulillah. :)
B for calculus. HAHAHAHA. i went for a grand total of 2 tutorials and 6 lectures. midway through the course, i realised the only way i could get A for such a course was if i devoted at least a deserving 20% of my total studying time (since i did 5 modules). because the cohort consisted of at least 75% china students, i figured no point. they will almost definitely score full marks and get the As, and with the bell-curve, leaving me with at best a B+ for all that effort. so what for work so hard get so little. i decided to forego it. (plus, i didn't really like it.) and like i just admitted to zati on the phone, despite making that decision to forego it, at the back of my mind i wasn't expecting anything less than a B-. because well, at the end of the day, i am half-chinese. haha! maths is in my blood, or so i believe. haha. (oh and i didn't do maths s paper for nothing ok. although my grade would beg to differ. haha.)

sooooooo.
i have one of each grade! A+, A, A-, B+, B. :) :) (still i don't like Bs lah. very ugly.)
aaaand my sap is four-point-four. *beams* (but still cannot get dean's list sia. *snorts.* hahaha)

post-mortem:
1. don't take open-book exams for granted. or mcq ones for that matter.
2. know yourself, your abilities and where you stand compared to the rest. and strategise from there. constantly reorganize your time and work accordingly.
3. stay happy during sem and exams! do what makes you happy. because if you are not happy, how to study sia. you need to be in optimum health, physically and emotionally, for your brain to be at optimal function. :) and for this i thank my baby. for keeping me nothing short of happy this sem. few fights, much happy times, and ever understanding. :) love, love.
4. study harder!
5. do'a and pray lots. because luck and good fortune does make a difference.

ok yani! bear that in mind for sems to come!
hup ho, here we go! :)

|
Tuesday, May 23 | 11:17 pm

yesterday, i had a run-in with a sorry lame-ass excuse of a researcher.
he made me so pissed i cried. (not in front of him lah.)

as in seriously beyond blood-boiling-point-pissed! :(

ok so here's some things you need to know:
1. there are common fumehoods in the lab. and fumehoods are like cabinets where you handle stuff that you don't want flying around in the air surrounding you, ie. bacteria, silica powder etc. and the fumehoods are usually left closed, with the lights switched off.
2. usually, when we run reactions which are light-sensitive, we wrap up the container in which the reaction is taking place in aluminium foil.

so i needed to work on my bacteria right. i went towards the fumehood i've been using for the past week, and i saw that only one door was in place. (basically the last person using it didn't close the doors properly.) then i looked in, i saw a stack of plates, which appeared like regular bacterial agar plates. still, i figured they're probably someone's. so i looked around in the lab, and there was only one other guy.

so i asked "hey daniel, do you know if anyone is using the fumehood?"

he replies "um i don't think so.."

"but there are plates in there.."

"are they open?"

"noo.."

"then i think it should be okay lah.."

since there was nothing else on the fumehood that gave me a clue as to what it was, i decided to go on with my experiment in the fumehood. so i switched on the light, set up my bunsen burner...

suddenly this skinny chinese guy comes running, "my plates, my plates!!"

and he starts scolding me! "why do you use this fumehood??" (seriously, his english is like that.)

"uhh, doesn't everyone use this fumehood? i mean, it's common right.."

"my plates are light-sensitive! you shouldn't use this fumehood!"

"err, i didn't know! maybe you should have put a sign, to warn other people.."

"noo! when you see something there, you shouldn't use it!"

"i asked daniel if anyone was using the fumehood, he said he didn't think so.. and he was the only one in the lab.."

"no! when you see something there, you shouldn't use it!" (notice how he doesn't say anything else. f off man.)

"but it's everybody's fumehood right? everyone can use it.."

so he grumblegrumblegrumble (to another researcher, mind you) and walked off. at that point i'm like, i shrugged it off lah. i mean, really, how was i or anyone else for that matter supposed to know his stupid plates were light-sensitive?? and he didn't even wrap them with foil lor. i mean if your thing was really light-sensitive, you would want to prevent even the slightest bit of light from getting to it right, for optimum results. STUPID SHIT. he got phd leh, like that i also can get my phd now seh.

but not enough you know! he came back!
to pick on what i was doing!!

"actually, when we do all this (points to my stuff), don't need fumehood one.."

"um but the other time i did it on the bench, my media (solution that bacteria grows in) went out of control.." (seriously, my whole bottle of 500ml of bacterial media got contaminated and suuper cloudy, bacteria inside having party sia. i had to throw away the whole thing and spent another 2h making more lor. waste time, right.)

"no, no, no need. (oi bodoh, orang punyer suker lah.) and then, why you on this fire?"

"err (fuck get lost), because we were taught that when you handle bacteria, you should work around a flame to keep everything sterile?"

"then you can do this on the bench.. (you stupid or what. i thought we just went through that.)"

at that point, my hands were not completely in the fumehood cause i was turning to talk to him.

and then he goes, "ah there you never do in the fumehood!"

(FUCK YOU ASSHOLE.)
"because i'm talking to you what!" and then i turned sharply on him, don't want to layan him anymore.

so i finished up, packed my stuff, and as i was leaving the lab, i bumped into daniel.

"omg DANIEL!! you know the plates i asked you about?? they were someone's leh! AND HE SCOLDED ME!!"

he asked "who? whose were they?"

"kelvin's (this other intern) mentor.. wahlau he scolded me lah wth!! he say i shouldn't have used the fumehood.."

"haa no lah where can like that one.. he can't hog the fumehood what.. it's common.."

"yalor! wahlau i'm damn pissed laah!"

"aiyaa he's like that one lah, don't care him.. he's like that.. don't take it too heart lah. take it in your stride.."

"eergh, i'm just damn pissed lah.."

"have you told jaana about it?"

(at this point, the sorry lame-ass excuse of a researcher was approaching us.)
"no, i'll talk to her about it tomorrow.."

sorry ass says "is daniel your mentor?"

"er noo.." i turned around and found that daniel had scooted out of harm's way. daniel you puss!

"who is your mentor?? i want to talk to your mentor." (WHAT THE FUCK.)

"er dr jaana.."

"ok i want to talk to her. cannot like this, my plates are light-sensitive!"

"then you should have put a sign at least. i mean the fumehood is for everyone to use.."

(at this point, we were in the doorway of the quiet office, i'm sure the entire office could hear us loud and clear. somemore when i fight, you think i'm one to keep it down?)

sorry ass is even sorrier when he's arguing, he can't even string words fast enough. "no no, i mean when you see something there, you shouldn't use it.. i mean use your brain lah.." (FUCK. where was YOUR brain when you DIDN'T wrap your so-called light-senstitive plates in foil, when you left your PRECIOUS reactions at a COMMON WORKSTATION, when you left one door AJAR and when you DIDN'T think of putting up a sign to inform other people about what you were doing? you left it at china is it?)

i was so taken aback when he said that, i just kinda gave him a blank stare. and then i just said quietly, with a little scoff, "well i think it would have been smart to have put a sign."

(really, i don't think i was rude to him at all lor.)

then he says "never mind. i go talk to your mentor. this cannot happen!"

so i roll my eyes, seething and blood boiling, and started walking towards the lift. oh ya, it was at the end of the day. i was about to leave lah!

but then i changed my mind. cannot lah, cannot let my mentor take the shit from him right.

so i went right back in and stood next to her. i said "i thought i should be here, since well. he's complaining about me."

so he rambles, rather pathetically. and when he has said his piece. i said simply to dr jaana, "well, there was no sign to tell me about the plates, and it's a common fumehood."

he argues still, "no! when you see something there, you should know someone is using it!"

"but i asked daniel, he said he doesn't think anyone is using it.. and he was the only one in the lab.."

"no! you shouldn't ask daniel! he doesn't know anything, he's a lab officer, he like you all student the same.. he's also new here.. (3 months to be precise. but i still thought that wasn't a very nice thing to say.) you should ask your mentor.. jaana you also know right, if got something there, you won't use it.." (which i completely don't believe. i mean, seriously, hogging much?)

and you know what. all jaana did was shrug and say "well, i wouldn't have known either if it was light-sensititive.."
HAH.

so anyway, jaana was really nice, and she didn't wanna argue anymore so she asked if there was any damage done. he said he would have to check the measurements the next day. and then (shit she's too nice man) she said "well, if it comes to that, we'll make you new plates." uurgh.

so he grumbled somemore, and still can say to me "so next time you know ah, if you see something there, don't use it, and you should ask your mentor, don't ask anybody else.." (wtf like reprimanding me like that, fuck off lah.)

and i was just like "ok." and jaana too went, "ok."

then he still stood there, like expectantly like that.

fuck lah stand there for what. waiting for me to apologize to you is it? wait lah, wait till pigs fly and hell freezes over.

so after that, i turned to jaana to report what i've done so far that afternoon, and then before i left, i said "sorry about that.." i'd much rather apologize to my mentor lor, for causing her that shit. and she said "naah don't worry about it.."

eeeergh. then i was still so pissed.
i mean he obviously doesn't think he's in the WRONG lor.
wtf! i was SO ANGRY CAN.

and so i started crying in the lift.

then when want to walk out, have to maintain a bit.

then once i got into my baby's car (see lah he had to wait so long you know), i took a few deep breaths, try to maintain, BUT CANNOT. i started raving and ranting and cursing sorry-ass upside down ah. "fuck lah you know this sorry excuuuse of a researcher... ..."

then i felt better. hehe. so thank you baby.

omg never have i cried because of work lor. not even when my reactions turn up like shit and when i cannot figure out what the hell i did wrong. but he made me SO PISSED!

so today, when we came in the morning, i was talking to kelvin. and ya lah, i was like "shit lah your mentor scolded me yesterday.." so i told him the story. and guess what he said after that. "aiya nevermind lah.. my mentor is like that.. he's not a nice person.."

WTH?? haha. i was like "huuhh what do you mean??"

simply put, this guy cannot get along with people. he's on his own, hardly talks to people. and the best part? he never gives kelvin anything to do in the lab. and when kelvin asked to help, or to just see what he was doing, he said "i don't like people following me around."

WTH.

and kelvin also said that time he was asking a lot of questions, the mentor actually said "i get fed-up if you asking too many questions."

WTH LAH.
you understand what MENTOR means or not?

haii.
the worst thing that came out of this experience is that, now i have to see him everyday in the lab (same research group lah, shit) and i cannot/REFUSE to even LOOK at him, what more make eye contact. i have to resist the urge to roll my eyes and barf everytime i pass by him.

ugh.

okaylah give me time. slowly slowly i get over it ok.
*rolls eyes.*

|
Sunday, May 21 | 7:55 pm

my credit card came! (attn mars! gojane!) supplementary card courtesy of daddy! abn amro's, which is a dutch bank i think. so anyway, with the card came yummy vouchers! one of which was a 3-for-2 at breeks. order 2 main courses and get a third one free. i thought we should go with a friend or something right, but no need! my babymonster had TWO main courses. cajun blacken fish and beef lasagne. i had the baked pasta mornay, which is like creamy seafood pasta. but yummy! :) i peppered it up though. every few spoonfuls. heh. (aiya, western/european is never spicy enough right.)

oh and we watched over the hedge! oooh sooo cuuutee!! hehehehe. "cookiee.." hehehe.

we had wanted to watch dvc with some of the gang friday night, but we didn't get to the booking queues quick enough. :P nevermind, we try for it again this week!

we were at marina sq, and they had some promotion/roadshow. there was jean danker, fiona xie and brian wong. fiona xie and jean danker like about the same frame right, so when they stood next to each other, i thought fiona xie looked fat in comparison. but hatta said jean danker like stick like that. heh.

after dinner, we walked around esplanade a bit while waiting for a table at haagen dazs. i wanted good ol' chocolate fondue again! haha. been awhile since we had it. and so at the amphitheatre we caught some good live music! :) hatta and i preferred the guitarist's (on the right) voice to the the lead vocalist's though. hehe. they were pretty good. oh and i like watching drummers, just to catch the tricks they do with their drumsticks!


fondue at haagen dazs! it comes with pastry now too! and strawberry (jam?) dip. wee sweet for my liking. and trust me, when i say sweet, it IS sweet. because everything is so sweet already, i'd rather dip into something with a bit of bittery cocoa taste. :) i realised hatta and i never even bothered to try max brenner's or fondues at other places even. hmm.

it's ok that i'm a camwhore, because my boyfriend's a motormouth! the top-left is him pretending to um, spin? (can't see his other hand lah. haha.)


|
| 5:03 pm

we keep each other sane at work! :) :) they are the only people i know who are busybusybusy all the time at work too, so it keeps me sane knowing i'm not the only one going crazy with all that work!! (all the other students in my lab are always so free!! their mentors never seem to give them anything to dooooo.)
so these pictures are of when we hijacked kak hanna to go for dinner! (except the bottom-right one, that was first day of work.) oh yeah, in the end we went sakura for dinner. :)

mmm then on friday, met up with the gang for some good ol' fashioned love and laughter. ;) at where else, but ramenten. (hatta says ramenten is the latest in-thing for tudung girls. :P)


the peoples. :D as usual, much crap and nonsense, resulting in much laughter, and difficulty swallowing food because of the shaking from all that laughter.

out of the seven of us, three had tom yum chicken cutlet ramen and two had super spicy ramen. so much for jap cuisine huh. hurhur. aiyaa melayu maah, will still want our tastebuds on fire. ;)

anyways, it's not like ramenten did much to preserve the japanese-ness of their dining experience. there was california handroll and norwegian salmon. oh but to their credit, there was hokkaido ice cream! haha.

and to our credit, we had sashimi!! :D


|
| 5:02 pm

ok so adila and elly had sashimi. but i shared a piece with nydia! heh. sliimyy and kinda tasteless.


as usual, it was hard to find a place where we could sit and chill! firstly, it was hard to decide on one. secondly, the place would be full when we got there. :P we headed to shaw towers al-fresco mcs, lido starbucks, decided to give wheelock starbucks a miss, anticipating it to be full already, and finally settled at borders coffeebean.

aaaaaaand on the ride home, little miss elly got her first 21st birthday gift! :) :) it was an oprah's book club recommended book, Anna Karenina, from adila! you shoulda heard the screams of delight when she ripped it open. (as can be seen from the pictures)

|
| 12:15 am

i went to watch boys play soccer! haha.
it was at nus. ri malay boys of about 4-5 batches' worth. vs. nus year1 malay boys.

many names from the past. whose faces i only get to see now.

photos! :D

oh that's me camwhoring while waiting for the boyfriend. was sitting in the living room when my mummy's flowers caught my eye, heh.

ok boyfriend's here!


lunch was at pizza hut. omg i swear never to try phut's pasta ever again. tasteless! :(

the boys on the field. no. 17!


guess what she sees!

this!! hehehehe.

aaand then we had dinner at sakura! we love oats prawn! (plate on the right) and the other one is boneless chicken with thai sauce. he liiikes. :D

and then we walked around esplanade a bit before going home. :)


|
Thursday, May 18 | 11:05 pm

aiyaaa i had one nice looong entry, whining about my daayy. all nicely described. shall try to reproduce it. :P

title: one of them.
tim: approx. 20 00h

i swore i would never be one of them.
now here i am.

ugh.
one mistake and you're screwed for the rest of the day. (and night.)

my mind was somewhat a mess today. i made so many mistakes! firstly, i fumbled pipetting so much shit. and fyi, the microcentrifuge tubes are about half the length of your pinky. i wasted so many tubes because i didn't plan properly. :( and then, at one point a tube even tumbled over my fingers, spilling haf its contents (of BACTERIAL CULTURE) all over my lab notebook! ARGH. then i very cleverly sprayed ethanol all over the spill. i didn't want my notebook to become biohazardous what. ethanol will kill the bacteria. now see lah. the pages koyak. :( :(

then ah, i had to incubate my reaction for 2 hours. so i hurry up hurry up quickly do (past lunchtime already ah), put my 15 little tubes in the heating block, set timer and temperature, then aaahh finally can go for lunch!

so i come back 2h later. fuck i didn't switch it on! ARGH.
classic mistake. the kind they don't even mention in protocols or textbooks to warn you.

TWO HOURS lehh. haaiii. how to wait for another 2h?? so what to do. i added more enzyme and let it run for 1h instead. i was seriously doubting if i would get results at the end. because the enzyme might have died waiting for me to come back from lunch. the enzyme sensitive. dies at room temperature. :( and then if i don't run it for long enough, how to get product right. argh.

aiya but what to do. just sui sui keep on doing lah.
anyway molecular experiments is like that what. blind faith. cannot see the thing, but just do.
and then pray hard that at the end, you get something.

so while i wait, i decided to make agarose gel. wahlau i made 5 bloody frickin gels lah! and dna gels need ethidium bromide which is bloody-hell mutagenic (messes up your body's DNA). at first, i very careful when i handling ethidium bromide(EtBr). carry out in fume hood behind the screen, change gloves after handling EtBr etc, thinking hmm i don't want die early and i want beautiful healthy babies. but what the hell la. after the 3rd one, i stopped using the screen and stopped changing gloves.

stupid gels. first one i made, i forgot about the gel solution i was heating in the microwave. so by the time i wanted to pour it out to cast it, it was semi-solid. so that was a gorgeous mess. then, shitgel no. 2, i didn't set the casting tray properly, and the damn gel solution leaked out! onto the bench! can you imagine what a biohazardous mess that was. EtBr everywhere!! ARGH. so then next one, wah act hero, i decided to make TWO gels just in case. then my mentor walked in and told me i used the wrong sized combs! argh!!

so by the time i finally set my gel and let it run, it was 5:30pm. goddammit! and on average, a gel takes 40-50 minutes to complete. and then, i still needed to UV (ultra-violet) to see the bands, cut it out, melt the agar and isolate the dna. argh.

so i had to cancel tuition. :(
i never wanted to be one of them, i promise.

they who stay in the labs beyond humanly hours. argh.

anyway, since i was already leaving late, no point rushing already. so i slacked in kak hanna's room, waited for her to finish up washing her PATENTED catalyst. patented ok, don't play play. wheweet! :D

oh yah kak hanna sometimes (often?) stays till like 8pm. :P i asked dr jaana what time she usually leaves. she also says 8. but she says she knows some people who stay like till really late, and she adds, she's not sure if that is good for work. i'm like, huh? and she tells me she stayed till midnight before, but then the next day she was so tired, she did so many things wrong! then she said she told herself she would never do that again. i mean really, craazyy. i'm quite sure once you reach a certain point, fatigue takes over your brain. and then i told su i messed up today must be cause it's thursday. haha. monday=blues, but at least fresh. tuesday=still fresh. wednesday=midweek fatigue setting in. thursday=die. friday=weekend excitement! so future employers, for best productivity and minimal resource drainage, gimme off-days on thursdays! :D

anyway, both kak hanna and i didn't wanna walk out alone. kak sarina lah. she said level 9 toilet and level 4 pantry haunted. wth, thanks babe. :P then now everytime i'm alone, it feels so eerie. take lift alone also scary. got mirrors everywhere!! what if you see something you're not supposed to?? (at this point, kak hanna says "don't give me funny ideas lah!")

ok so that entry ended somewhere about here.

anyway, i wanted to read my picoult on the train ride home. but it got to a point when i had to reread paragraphs to understand them. wah shit. it's a STORYBOOK. who needs to read storybook paragraphs twice to understand them?? if scientific journal, of course lah. so cheem, how to one time read and understand. but picoult storybook! and i wasn't even feeling the emotions. argh. so i kept my book and decided to sleep. wth. only FOUR days of work.

but like i told su and kak hanna, i like working with dr jaana. she's very hardworking and driven. her work ethic is like 'if you can do it today, why wait till tomorrow?' so working with her, i'm under that influence. which is both good and bad. hee. good because, good lah. who doesn't like hardworking cheap labour right? bad because me being anal me, i tend to overdo it a little.

and the lab i'm working in is very orderly. everyone has their own workspace on the bench, everything is nicely labeled with the owner's names, everyone has their own drawer in the freezers, everybody has their own fume-hood to work in, etc. and i like it. there's no case of "who misplaced the pipette?" or "who left this fume-hood in this mess??" and stuff. oh and i have my own box (labelled with my name ok!) in dr jaana's drawer! whee! i feel so pro! all the materials i need are in my box, and that's where i store all my product! :) :) and also, dr jaana is the somewhat possessive kind. all her things she label clearly with her name, and if they are general lab equipment (which she chope already), she put there "Jaana's. Please do not touch!" hehe. and like reagents she needs and uses often, she takes from the common bottles and puts in her own personal bottles which she arranges around her workspace. so easy for me! everything is within reach!

i like! because i'm the only one who gets access to her equipment! and seeing her being so meticulous and careful about her stuff inspires me to keep the workspace in order too! everything i use and take, i will put back in its place. and this makes work a lot smoother and faster! you're never running around looking for stuff, because you know exactly where they are! right where you left them, in their place! and it takes all parties involved to be responsible, only then it will work. like in some labs i've been to, the resident doesn't do that, so i don't really know where to put the stuff after i've used them. then even if i put them back where i found them, the next day i won't find it there. so things get easily misplaced. :(

so i guess after all this gushing, haha i love my job! :) :)
plusplus, jaana gives me so much independence! so the work really feels like my own. i think after the first two good days, she thinks she can trust me. haha. i hope today didn't kill that. i know exactly what i'm doing, so she just needs to show me the protocol and where to find the kits. then she goes off, doing her other things. i'm like whee! i hope i'm helping her speed up her research. :)

okaylah, wahlau eyes damn dry already.

|
Wednesday, May 17 | 6:57 pm

i hateee being cancelled out on at the last minute.
and i was unrealisingly rambling away at top speed. until su stopped me BY imitating me. :P

sooo.
now su and i are hijacking kak hanna to go town for dinner! :D :D

and we have invaded her fish-tank room! hehe. we are a pair of terrorists!

anyway, it's called a fish-tank room because it literally is like a fish-tank. rectangular room with bigbig glass window along the corridor for everyone who walks by to look into. it's a room in the lab, kinda like a workspace. if you're lucky, there's about 3-4 people in your lab's fish-tank room. if you're really lucky, you're the only one. if you're unlucky, there will be 5-6 people in your fish-tank room. if you're really unlucky, you won't have a fish-tank room, because it has been conquered by equipment, hence turning it into an equipment room. baahh. this place is taking in more students than it can hold! all the mentors don't really know where to place/store their interns!

we tried hijacking zati too, but viruses (plural for virus = viri?) got to her first. :( boo. anyhoots, get well get well dearie, i hope the viruses/viri die! (oh i checked dictionary.com. it's viruses. haha.)

oh yah, we wanted to hijack syahirah as well, but she doesn't wanna get off her bum. :D haha.

oklah. so we shall continue terrorising kak hanna's room while she kickboxes away. she's at her kickboxing class at the a*star gym facility. by the way, i was thinking about it right, why is a*star's gym called synapse? i mean like synapse is in your NEURON lor. (your nerve cell lah, mars. in case you didn't know. haha.) got nothing to do with like fitness and exercise. they should call it like some cheem word for muscle, which i don't know lah.

anyway, today's lab work went pretty great too, alhamdulillah. :) :) although, i was going crazy pipetting like over 60 times to run pcr for 20 samples!! it's like every step of the way today i had to repeat for twenty samples! i was so scared i might screw up, can you imagine having to redooooo all that shit?? oh and haha, i didn't do controls. i thought shit how, but then i just crossed my fingers, hoping nothing will go wrong. (control is like only needed to troubleshoot, to see what went wrong.) buuutt. more great gels :) :) and and the best part, dr jaana said "you're doing pretty well! *smilesmile*"
so yay! i haven't screwed up yet. haha.

ok so we shaaaaaall dinner aaaaaaaaaat.
(su suggests ramen ten.)
OOF.
elly wants ramen ten this friday toooooo.
i can be like ambassador for ramen ten already lah.

(i'm so bored. i need to pee. SU let's go pray already laahh!!)

|
Tuesday, May 16 | 11:28 pm

su and i have nominated a mcdreamy at work!
his name is jerome and he's french! buuuutt. like mcdreamy in grey's, he's not exactly young. although, i don't know if he's married.
anyway, cause he's french, he kinda talks like that guy in the show with jennifer aniston and that funny guy, can't remember his name. but i remember the french guy's line: "look into my eyebaalll!" (the line that nydia can say them well, and gets a kick out of entertaining us with it. haha.) and and he says hippo "eeppo" (which hatta couldn't get enough of then).
so anyways. kak hanna has a mcdreamy too. but we have yet to find out if it's the same mcdreamy. haha.
oh but his chest is waaayy hairy. hahaha. the kind that's curly and peeks out from his shirt even though it's buttoned all the way to the second button. haha.

on another work-note. everything went great in lab today! alhamdulillah. :) (because most of the time, they don't! :P ) got awesome results, suuuper gel with perfect distinct band! :) :)

so i hopefully transformed my bacteria all right, and they should be happily growing! then then tomorrow, culture! and then they can grow grow somemore. haha.

insya'allah if everything goes right, i should be able to do everything dr jaana set out for me. (jaana is pronounced yana. and she got a kick out of it when she heard my name is yani. hurhur.) hehe. i thought i wouldn't be able to because at lab in school, they spread everything out so much! plus at school, you're conducting the expt with like 199 other people, so you get slowed down quite a bit, waiting for reagents and queuing for your turn. today alone, i completed what usually takes 3-4 lab sessions in school. so bottomline is, yay! :) :)

haii. work, work, work. so boring, blog about work only.

so anyways. tomorrow night i'm meeting sha for dinner! the girl i haven't seen for only god knows how long. haha. ;)

aaaand i miss my baby lah. i haven't seen him in like only god knows how long. okaylah, since laaaaaast saturday. he clearing leave/ord-ing, and then his girlfriend(erlyani) AND boyfriend(huzer) working liao, so he boredbored. haha. so now he want to elope with his isk (affair at camp).

dammit, cannot run away from it lah. my next thought is about work.
marsie's at pricewaterhousecoopers, huzer's at union bank of switzerland, nydia's at nuh..
HOW TO NOT FEEL OLD. :( :(

|
Monday, May 15 | 9:27 pm

first day of work was HILARIOUS. hahahahaha. because the safety officer giving us the safety training is NEW. hahahahaha. i suppose this was like his first training or something. and then his english also rosak a bit. so it was daaaamn funnyyy. all of us were shaking so hard trying to contain our laughter. i wanted to run out of the lab laughing. i had to do everything to contain my laughter, i was shaking so hard. and then that suhaila. muka also rabak giler. everytime i look at her i wanted to laugh even harder. HAHAHAHA.

oh and i like this group of interns that started today. all of us seem really cool and easygoing. sociable at the very least. :) i hope it'll be fun working with them.

not that i want to sound discriminatory or what or like sour grapes or what. but su and i felt that a huge part of why we felt right at home with the other interns was because most of us are from the local unis. 2 nus life science, 2 nus mech engine, 2 nus bioengine, 2 ntu bioscience.. and a few more i didn't really catch. not that the a*star scholars or overseas undergraduates are arrogant or snobbish or anything of the sort. it's just the mindset you have when you meet them and you find out they are studying in mit or are a*star scholars. it's like whoaaa, and then you feel inferior. or something like that. heh. so that unintentionally creates a barrier. sad eh. never mind lah, i think i slowly slowly get over that mindset. i guess i have to tell myself i'm just as good as they are. ;) eh? hehehehe. oklah oklah, i shall PROVE to myself that i am. :) :) (whee, optimistic nampak malam ni.)

su's back with dr edwin chow, and goddammit he has another patent out! argh. su and i discussed his research against others, like the one i'm doing for dr jaana (a lady from finland). and we concluded that his is very commercial. lots of market value. his next project is to create an artificial membrane that can be implanted in the kidney (in the glomerulus) to help clean out your system, ie. in the place of dialysis for kidney failure patients. like CAN SELL. whereas my research for dr jaana is to identify this protein that is found to always be present during cell migration, and to find out how and why. like GOOD FOR SCIENTIFIC ADVANCEMENT, future therapy for cancer etc. see the difference? and then suhaila goes "nevermind, it's for the good of mankind." and i'm like "huh so. good of mankind won't fill my stomach." hahahaha.

anyhows. i can't wait to start! because i like what i'll be doing. dr jaana briefly explained the procedure to me just now; isolate gene, clone, sequence, inoculate, culture, expression, isolate protein, purify. i looked at her and asked "in 10 weeks?" and this, just to GET the protein. no investigation carried out on it yet. haha.

ok! now i have to go read a 50-pg manual on how to use the pET system. and that's an expression vector for the gene. and i shan't even bother explaining what that means. haha.

oh wait. WHILE i watch dia!
3HOUR FINALE!!
at the same time/followed by survivor finale!

die tomorrow at work, eyes redred, mind blurblur.
lucky directors on business trip!
nyeeaah.

|
Sunday, May 14 | 7:26 pm

kudos to norman sawi and his spread in today's edition of berita minggu.

clubbing and the malay youth.

this entry is not intended for anyone at all, so please do not take this the wrong way. i guess this disclaimer should rightfully be here, considering that i have friends who are malay and in the clubbing scene.

i never realised, until this article, that i was actually scared that malays today have embraced clubbing, and that in fact, no one saw it as something to be wary of anymore. it's as if being rampant equals to being accepted. although i do know somewhere at the back of my mind that being accepted does not necessarily equal to being right, it is very much difficult to keep that distinction nowadays.

i needed to know that the malay society still finds clubbing less than right.

and i thank the journalist, norman sawi, for his work. because it showed me that the malay society still stands by the notion that no, clubbing is not right by our culture, much more our religion. however, i must point out that nowhere in his work at all did he explicitly claim so. it could perhaps be me and my biased mindset, or it really was just so subtly woven into his article that i must commend him. i must say, at a general read, his article is merely stating the obvious in society today. i guess perhaps, it is the accompanying snippets and tidbits of the what-went-wrong in the clubbing scene that helped weave in the slightest hint of negativity towards clubbing as an act of leisure.

so many times have i been told, and as i have read in the article, that youngsters go clubbing to destress, to take their mind off work and after a long hard day/week of work, they just wanna let loose at a club. and i think, is it really necessary to destress in a club? in fact, i know people who will get stressed in a club; the loud music (not that i don't enjoy loud thumping music), the crowd, the smoke, oh the smoke (this i cannot stand). but that's beside the point. the point is, there are other ways to relax and have a good time too. but at the same time, i also realise that different people find fun in different ways. so hey, whatever rocks your boat man.

and so, clubbing is becoming increasingly popular as an avenue of fun and relaxation, but at the same time, it seems like it has become decreasingly wrong in the eyes of our malay youth. and that is what makes me uneasy.

also in the spread today (oh i keep saying spread because it wasn't just one article, it was a whole two pages in berita minggu, hence again, kudos to norman sawi, who by the way, last i heard was still an ntu undergraduate. mass comm, i suspect. but again, i digress.) were stories of individuals who have been, or are still in the scene. many of whom admit to drinking. one was even quoted to have said "kalau tak minum, malu ah. minum Coke ajer, macam budak-budak." which translates into: it's embarrassing if i don't drink. if i just have Coke.. it's like only kids have Coke.

i know many people who say "i don't drink. i just go there for the music". but really, i take those words with a pinch of salt. i mean, why would you tell me that you do, right? you probably think i, and the likes of me, wouldn't understand. and you're probably right. but again, i may go the extra mile to try to understand. if you are friend enough to come clean with me, i'll be friend enough to listen and feel you.

at the same time, i have met individuals, who are now working and married and way past the clubbing scene, but have been there before, and been there long and deep enough. but came out of it, proudly proclaiming, "eh i buat semua tu, joget, tak balik malam.. tapi i tak pernah minum, tak pernah rokok." which translates into: i did all that, danced, didn't go home.. but i never drank and i never smoked. (this was after i insinuated that she was drunk one night to do something that she was telling me about.) to her credit, why would she lie to me about her past right, if i already assumed she was alcoholic? her indignation to my assumption makes me feel like yeah she was telling the truth.

i guess it's a matter of individual strength. many would like to think they are strong enough to block out these influences, but really, are they? i mean, like smoking. somebody once said to me, everybody starts out as a social smoker. regardless of the truth of that statement, it's all about pressure, isn't it? pretty soon, pretty much everyone caves in. i'm not saying that no one is strong enough, and it's only fair to give credit to those who can truly stand strong against peer pressure. but what is extremely bothering are the many who thought they were strong enough, only to find out that they aren't. so how do you know you are not one of this many, or not as strong as you would like to think? even more troubling are those who don't give two hoots about drinking and the likes.

i have been posed with the question several times.
"if you weren't wearing the tudung, would you go clubbing?"
i will not deny that i have been shaken from my ground (not to whip off my tudung and hit the dance floor, but to consider joining the masses shimmying their way onto the dance floor if i weren't already wearing tudung), but reading that article today put me right back where i should have been all along, and planted me much firmer this time, alhamdulillah. god forbid that thought ever cross my mind again.

on another note, there is the religious wrongs to consider. don't get me wrong, i am not one to stand up and say stop doing that because it's wrong in our religion, because who am i to say that? i am myself guilty of so much, in the eyes of our religion.
what one does is between one and Him only. every individual draws his own line in his individual spiritual conquest. it however gets rather worrying when over time, that line is inched further and further away from the right path.

my intention is not to judge, but to merely express my concerns.

|
Saturday, May 13 | 11:56 pm

it's a saturday night and i'm home before midniight!!

BUT
that's not the best part.

the best part iiiiiiiiiiiiis
MY BROTHER ISN'T HOME YET!
my younger fifteen year old (nerdy)brother!!
HAHAHAHAHAHA!

hey isn't there some kind of curfew for under-16s??
HAHAHAHAHAHA.

ok right now the sister wants to watch her freshly downloaded grey's anatomy.
so i shall shower, and come back later to update!! :) :)

|
| 12:52 am

so i have a new skin.
spent quite a while on it.
but i can't decide if i like it or not.
on the one hand, i think it looks pretty pleasant. but on the other, i find it too.. angular? i don't really know either. hehe.
i think i need more detail here and there.
so i guess i'll be sprucing it up a lil. (if i feel up to it?) :P

anyway, yesterday's picoult plan didn't exactly work out.
cause as i was about to shut down the lappy, i saw the oc season 3 episode 24 100%! completed! :D :D
so so i turned it on, and there went a good forty minutes. :) :)
however, woww wowww.

i guess at this point, i must must admit thaaat, the oc rocks! and one tree hill has fallen behind. waaaayy back. because i feel one tree hill keeps playing on the same old conflicts. which is so so sad. as in pathetic sad. whateveerr. the directors are so losing their touch and running out of ideas. what a pity.

anyhoots, back to the oc. omg, it was so good! made me wanna cry at so many parts! and and when ryan and marissa were at the diner, and ryan goes "can i buy you breakfast?" and the both of them smiled those smiles, ooohh the world felt right again. HAHAHAHA. i can't believe i said that. (don't hate me, all you marissa-haters. :P)
and there's so much going on in the cohen family right now. like hello, screw-ups galore. butbut. i'm glad sandy did what he did, or didn't do what he didn't.
and and, at the end of the episode, one thought crossed my mind. wow, finally marissa and ryan are not on this side of the glass. (shan't elaborate because later [more]spoiler right.)

so yay!
in fact, i liked it so much i think i might watch it again!
despite the full-blown fever and cold. thankfully, the throat is spared, as of now.

i love oc i love oc i love oc! :) :)
i foresee withdrawal symptoms when the season ends. :(

|
Thursday, May 11 | 10:29 pm

whee! spent the day in jb with the mummy, daddy and the aunt! :) :)

checked out tebrau city! waaaah so biiiigg. :) :) manymany nice shops, and and NICE RESTAURANTS!! how to try EVERYYYTHIING!! manhattan fish market, italiannes, yoshinoya and and so many many more i can't even remember the names. it's like CHEAP and (mostly) HALAL. how to get that in singaporeeeee. :D :D

hanging with my mum and aunt will make me SO fat!! my aunt has like superhuman metabolism, she can eat so much but she doesn't get fat!! at all!! nowhere near fat! today we ate like 3 times in the span of 4hours.
a late breakfast at the food court (yong tau foo and 2 roti canai, lontong, rojak keling, teh o, teh tarik and green apple juice-which was only rm1!!),
a snack at breadtalk midway during shopping (naan curry, naan cheese, cheese twist and an egg tart-which my mum and my aunt liked so much they each ordered ten to bring home. along with piles and piles of bread, spicy chicken floss, cheese buns and i forgot what else.)
and lunch at the chicken rice shop. (one crispy roast chicken rice, one honey bbq chicken rice, one honey bbq chicken noodles, which came with fishball soup and wantans, stir-fried bean sprouts, 4 kuih pai ti, 4 golden wings aaand nasi tambah) :P :P

pretty good range of shops too, the usual mango, topshop, g2000, elle, aaand many shoe shops!! my mum, aunt and i have found a new favourite shoe haunt! primavera! :) :) their shoes are gorgeous, and the quality is so much better than the usual charles&keith or vincci. it's of a much better make, and of course, has a price that goes with it. :P (but it's ok when i shop with the mummy ;) ) but when you convert the ringgit back to sgd, it's just a bit more expensive than c&k, but so so much better! we stopped by city square on the way back too, and i saw primavera there! yay! no need to go so far to get primavera shoes! :) :)
so i bought two pairs from primavera at tebrau city! a pair of lovelylovely rich dark green pointy shoes with minimal heel for work! i finally have a pair of covered shoes which won't kill my feet! and another pair which just felt so right on my feet! my mummy says it's the make of the shoes, the curve hugs the soles of your feet so snugly and it's so well-padded, it's a dream! it's like nice and white and stringy, and can be worn with anything and everything! :) :)
and mummy and the aunt bought a pair each, matching shoes! my aunt's in black and greyish-purple, and my mum's in light and dark green.

oh and i love east india too! bought two tops there, and a skirt too.
aand from jusco, a pair of pretty brown slacks/pants (it looks like it can be casual OR dressy. :) :) ) with embroidery on the waistline and the hems! :) :)
and at jusco i saw so many pretty pretty suits! like in deep purple, in soft salmon pink, and i'm like aaargh if only i had interviews to go to!! but like right now, work doesn't call for formal business attire, so i guess i can lay off the suits and shirts.

wheee!! shopping makes me happyyyy!! :) :)

oh and i left my phone in my baby's car yesterday. so i'm phone-free!
i finally believe people when they say not carrying a phone around is SO liberating! i'm freeeeeeee!! hehehehhe ;) ;)

ok, my nose is getting kinda runny and i think i'm running a temperature.
so, i shall read my latest jodi picoult (vanishing act) which i bought yesterday at times after being insipired by a blog entry of rafidah's, aaaand then, i shall fall into blissful sleep. :)

and guess what i'm doing tomorrow.
mummy and i meeting the aunt for more shopping!! this time we're headed to chinatown, which is near her workplace, so that she can show us the kain she's been eyeing for my sister and i! for raya!! :) :)

wheeee!!
shopping rocksrocksrocks my sockssockssocks!

|
| 12:04 am

so i spent monday shopping with sya. which is not necessarily a good idea, because we just always end up buying the same things!! ;) ;) anyhoos, everything we bought was on 50% sale! but from three different shops! strangely, and so fortunately, many shops seemed to be having sale! whee!~

oh yah we tudung shopped too, and yes, we each bought 4 tudungs. three of which were identical (no surprises there), and sya's fourth was one which i already had and recommended to her. ;) ;)

come evening, we met marsiee!! after her first day at PWC, pricewaterhousecooper, the bigass accounting firm, weweet!! ;) ;)

i got a $10 gift voucher from my party, courtesy of muslim. so i treated my two lovely sistas to frappes at the starbucks outlet where muslim works, and he threw in a free frappe for me! :) :) had the banana caramel frappe, actually he already had another banana mocha frappe made, and he asked if i minded just having that instead. but i didn't want! hehe. i don't really fancy mocha, i go for the sugary-sweet, ie. caramel. plus, sya was already having the banana mocha. so anyhow, thanks mus! i hope you weren't risking your neck or anything. (cause it's not the first time he's slipping me free drinks! ;) ) hehe oh and missymarsie had the java chip frappe, but she says it can't replace her dearly departed rhumba frappe.

starbuuccks!!

i love my sistas. and we miss our rozzie. :(

afterwards, we maghrib-ed at masjid al-abrar, which is like so central business district. and then we were like, omg. we really do have to face the adult world now. work and offices and the cbd.

and then, we couldn't find ANYWHERE to have dinner in the cbd past 8pm! so we scooted over to marina sq, where we hopped into the first diner we saw, which happened to be breeks! :) they have a number of new dishes, and some of them do look promising, esp the seafood ones. i like it when restaurants constantly upgrade themselves and renew their dishes. :) because it won't get boring!

with our dishes. i can't remember the names now, but marsie's was creamy penne with shrimp or something like that. sya's was seafood something, and cheesy and nice. :)

much lovelove! :) :) *huuggs*

it was good to finally be with them again. i had been feeling rather confused and lost as of late, and i couldn't exactly pinpoint why. sya suggested i tell them about it and get it of my chest, but i didn't need to. just spending time with them, just us, made me feel so much better. because being with them, i am at my easiest and i am exactly who i am. i didn't need to hold back anything at all or think about anything i said. i could feel myself realising who i am and who i have been all along. it was like having the reset button in me pushed, and i saw me again. not the ugly green-eyed selfish monster i feared i was turning into, but instead the same girl she was 7 years back when she first fell in love with syahidah, mardhiati and rozanah, all in navy blue pinafores, ponytails and glasses.

you know when you are caught under water and you are struggling so hard to hold your breath because you know you just can't breathe under water, and then you see the surface and you break the surface and you take the first gasp of air and you can finally breathe again and the feeling of relief washing over you? being with my girls again is just like that.

but at the end of the night still, i was messaging sya and telling her everything. because she being the dear that she is, asked me if i was bothered still by what was going on inside my head. so i divulged. and she had some very reassuring responses. she confirmed that it wasn't me or my imagination. that the feelings i was harbouring was a result of something real. that i wasn't suffering from inferiority complex. that it wasn't paranoia. and it isn't me who is ugly.

being with my girls, i felt again how there is nothing i wouldn't do for these dears, how i'm happy for them when they reach the greatest of heights, how i pray so hard that they achieve their dreams. and i know they would do the same for me too. and that was when i realised, i'm not turning into a monster afterall. :)

these are the greatest of friends you can find. when you know you can count on them no matter what, when you know they will never be out for your head, when you know they will always have your back, when you know they will be sad with you when you don't reach your dreams no matter how far they have gone with theirs, when even if you are in the same race they will do everything they can to help you succeed and they want success for you as much as they want it for themselves. when you feel like you are in the deepest of depths, they pull you out, without even realising it themselves. just by being there, they already do so much. *hugs*

we talked about other things over dinner too. like rozzie and when she'll be back. like the past and the silly things we used to do. like so many things that keep us connected.

i love you mars, i love you sya, and rozzie, we really want you back.

time flies so fast and we grow so quickly. we have all become our own person, but that doesn't mean the friendship should fade. before it becomes dilapidated and obsolete, someone should do something. someone? everyone.

i believe that we don't judge. nor do we shun. i also believe that a relationship isn't in trouble until the parties involved become less than truthful. and i still believe that honesty is the best policy.

some friendships have to sadly be kept at a distance, while should some others get distant, it becomes utterly and bitterly sorrowing.

so anyhoos, what started as a happy, play-by-play entry evolved into a rather emotional one.
aaand today, i caught poseidon with baby dear. it was unexpectedly good! :) :) we anticipated a titanic-style story, but we were oh so wrong! which is a good thing. in the movie, a rogue wave catches the ship and causes it to turn-turtle. and there is a group of people determined to find a way out of the ship, versus being told to stay put in the ballroom which was to be sealed shut. (wth?? would you really like to be sealed shut in a bubble of glass which was obviously NOT designed to be underwater?) in the group of people, there is a young mother-son pair and a father-teenage daughter pair. definitely tear-jerking and definitely a satisfying movie. :) :)

we then rounded up the night with dinner at east coast! ikan pari bakar, yumyum! i actually wanted otak-otak, but they don't have it on weekdays! boo. should have just gone simpang. because the point of going east coast was for otak-otak! :P oh and camera conked out today too, much to his glee. :(

ok! so that about sums up my past couple of days! :)


|
Sunday, May 7 | 9:21 pm

the queens of the niight! :) :) happy 21st erlyani (22nd april) and nydia (29th may)! *muuaahh!*

aaand the king of the bbq pit! ;) ;)

also known as my hero. ;)

hey mr dj! dj mk, wheeweet!

funkyy, i liike! :D

|
| 9:19 pm

guestbook! (well, technically.. wall?)

two of my favourite girls in the whooole world!! *hugshugs* and rozzie's in the picture too! :) :) my rozzie was at my party and signed my guestsheet! (courtesy of sya&mars.) hahahahah. *sends hugs&kisses to perth* i miss youu darliing. :( wish you could have been theerre. :(

my other favourite girls in the world!! they were the creative directors behind the guestsheet/wall. :) :) they so sweetly agreed to come like 2h before the party started to help prep. *biiighugs* MYYY darliings! *muaah!*

help yourself to the fooood. of course, buffet set & set-up courtesy of cikmai&cikjah. :) :) thank youu so much so much again!


people signing!! (although some people treated it more like autographs than well-wishes for us. hahaha.)


|